Oh, Burda, Burda, Burda, you know how much I love you, right? You know how hard it’s been for me to be without you all these months, right? Then why does it seem like you don’t care about me at all? This relationship is feeling so one-sided, and if you can’t meet me halfway, how is it supposed to work out?
I was excited for this issue because the April issue is the one that’s usually packed with pretty dresses. (Or am I thinking of the May issue?) Anyway, if the dress feature is in this month’s issue, it’s hard to tell from the 4.2010 preview. In fact, so far as I can tell, the theme of this month’s issue is, “innocuous clothes that you could buy anywhere.” On one hand there’s nothing totally insane, no cheetah jumpsuits, no wedding dresses with crepe paper nosegays hot glued to them, no shrests, no pirate armwarmers, no one shouldered skankgear. And yet on the other hand, there are zero items in the preview that are appealing to me at all. No lovely sheaths with beautiful details, no sleek skirts, or sharp blouses. Here’s a sampling:
Ho-hum. And I didn’t go through the images to pick out the ones that I found the most boring- this is a pretty representative cross section of the garments. As you can see, there’s nothing wrong with these clothes. But at the same time, why would I want to spend my time and effort making anything that just feels so unextraordinary? And the fit and cut of these garments are somehow neither chic nor classic enough to make me want to use them for creating wardrobe basics or as blocks on which to base something more exciting. Particular note on the polo dress- do polo collars ever look right when you don’t have the special ribbed knit pieces from which to make them and instead just make them out of the fabric you use for the body of the garment? I’m not going to bother to find out because polo shirts (and by extension, relaxed fit polo dresses like the one pictured above) are on my list of stuff that I have no interest in sewing.
I guess this is the most interesting garment in the preview, but I still don’t really have any urge to make or wear this:
I assume the pattern is for the skirt. It’s not bad, and like any other garment in this issue, if you decide to make it, I have no reason to roll my eyes at you as there’s nothing wrong with it. But do leave the bow off, please. It’s awfully silly and you don’t want to be sitting on it all day. And definitely skip out on the crazy organza balloon shrug thing or whatever fashion no-no is happening around her shoulders.
Burda, my dear, I see what you’re trying to do here- I’m starting to understand your battle strategy. After several stormy months in our relationship, you’re starting to fight dirty. You’re trying to make sure that I have no ammunition. You’ve finally figured out how to push my buttons- by creating a preview in which every garment is so unobjectionable and unexciting that I can’t say anything interesting about them. You give me nothing to work with. I CAN’T EVEN CRACK JOKES ABOUT THEM. Because you know that my sarcasm is my only weapon and without it I am powerless.
For the love of jeebus, this month’s preview DOESN’T EVEN INCLUDE CRAFTS! And now, Burda, you have gotten even with me, for my blog post on your preview is as unentertaining as the preview itself! Sneaky, Burda. Very sneaky. The closest thing to funny that I can even find is this:
At first I thought, “Great. She’s wearing a cotton miniskirt. Whoop-dee-doo.” And then I realized that’s a man, and he’s wearing some way-too-short jams. So now Burda is offering up jams patterns? I assume the photo is for the jams? What else would it be for? Oh, and if you think that picture is hard to figure out, explain this one to me:
There’s barely even clothes in this picture. Maybe they’ve replaced the crafts section with photos of laughing shirtless daddies with beachy hair. I guess that’s a step up?
And finally, with what little I’ve been given to work with, here is the last jab I can muster:
The broom-and-cat styling was almost puzzling enough to distract me from the pouchy crotch flood pants. But not quite. If you do decide to buy this issue of Burda, you should definitely make these pants because there’s enough room in the front of them to store the issue as well.
Ah well, I guess we’ll see how the full preview looks in a week or so.
32 comments
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March 1, 2010 at 9:38 am
Melanie
So glad to have you back in full, snarky mode! Thanks for the review and saving me some $$$.
March 1, 2010 at 10:09 am
lsaspacey
Oh come on! That lavendar blouse (third down) is nice and different. Of course it’s pretty much a safari camp shirt, but the oversize proportions change it up a bit.
The broom and cat picture, maybe they’re sending out a hint that the model is a witch and the cats’ name is Pyewacket…um, I don’t know either, but I tried.
March 1, 2010 at 10:25 am
selfishseamstress
Haha, ok, I’ll admit that the that blouse is probably not something that you could walk into any store and buy. You could, however, if it were still 1985:
Oh yeah, Molly, work that dropped shoulder!
March 1, 2010 at 10:29 am
Auntie Allyn
Dear Burda: There’s a reason that I pay a crapload of money to get your publication every month . . . and it is NOT so that I can get plain, basic unimaginative patterns! Give me some style, some interesting detail or shape or line! I don’t need plain sheath dresses that look like the patterns I bought over 40 years ago . . . I already have these patterns and want something new and interesting and stylish!!!
(and I do agree with you, Elaine, that some of their posed photos are just too nuts for words . . . what’s UP with the silly BROOM??!!)
March 1, 2010 at 10:41 am
CGCouture
I think the more pressing question is why is she trying to sweep her sheets?
March 1, 2010 at 10:39 am
melissa
hahah, at least this preview doesn’t look as bad as the back page of March would have me believe – safari? african? AGAIN??
Oh, and May was always historically the dress issue. ie: the one I’d always buy before I was forced to subscribe (after Borders stopped carrying it). August was always the awesome Fall clothes and preggowear, and November was cocktail dresses and exercise clothes. Before Burda went boring, anyway.
March 1, 2010 at 11:09 am
Jana
I kind of like the purple dress… let´see. And I could certainly use a pattern for the naked daddy…? Minus the kid, that is :).
March 1, 2010 at 11:25 am
Becky
I’m beginning to think that maybe I renewed my subscription too soon (the March issue being the first of my year 2)… I wish I’d gone to the new Barnes & Noble back when it opened in December (when I renewed), because they actually carry it! Whereas my Borders always did not. If this year doesn’t shape up fast, I might just go to buying selected issues.
March 1, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Helen
Where I live we can still buy Burda off the stand (or in the haberdashery store) and it’s incredibly cheap to my mind. So many patterns for half to a quarter the price of one big 4 pattern. I have only recently discovered it and I love the cutting (such well-drafted patterns, such great details, and such “straight off the catwalk inspiration) and great variety and the fact it is so fashion-forward that you know that you will still be using older issues in a year or two (look around the blogs and look at your own ruffle shirt). I do wonder how the poor employees at Burda put up with all the snarking about them on the internet. It must be so demoralising. But then I do actually work in publishing myself and i know how hard it is to get that amount of work out in a fit form on such tight deadlines (and no I don’t work for Burda).
March 1, 2010 at 1:17 pm
selfishseamstress
Burda is absolutely a great value, especially if you can get it on a newsstand. Their drafting is generally excellent as well, and most of the criticism I have seen pertains to design rather than quality. I’m as die-hard a Burda fan as there is and have given them plenty of my business; that being said, I personally think they’re going through a multi-month dry spell. As for snark, such is the nature of commercial creative endeavors- they’re open to criticism and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. And while I can appreciate the old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice…” and respect people who adhere to that (I personally do not, but I respect it nonetheless), I don’t think the world would necessarily be better off if all movie reviews, book reviews, restaurant reviews, fashion collection reviews, theater performance reviews, etc. were purely positive. Beyond that I like to think that I give Burda its fair share of raves where credit is due – there’s no shortage of public Burda love here.
March 1, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Stephanie
Elaine – I’m with you. I don’t think the world would be a better place with nothing but positive reviews. The reality of it is this, the last two issues of Burda have been dissapointing enough, I may not spend the money for next month’s issue. That’s kind of sad for me. I hate to give up. Helen, what is more demoralizing for Burda, getting feedback that tells them what people want – or losing a ten year customer? Before you sympathize too much with the poor Burda employees, I gave a lot of old issues away as being things I would never want to make, and magazines I don’t want to keep. I’m not seeing a lot of straight off the catwalk inspiration. I got today’s Vogue Patterns in the mail, and I saw one nice shirtdress pattern I would like, plus a pretty interesting suit jacket – even if I would never make the skirt that goes with it. If I find one or two items, I am happy with that. It doesn’t all have to be to my taste. But when I see nothing, two or three magazines in a row? I am not that picky, but there is a quality decline. I had a professional job (recent layoff – I’m looking for work.) My handmade clothes need to look professional, adult, and tailored. I like to combine that with timeless style, since my sewing time is limited. Lately, I’ve seen a lot of boring.
March 2, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Helen
Yes, I didn’t actually say that all you do is snark and I do think that criticism can raise standards of course, but it is worth noting that criticism in a tone that some people find amusing is often quite cutting and costly to the self-esteem of others and demoralising. It happens all over the internet. People say “Ew, nasty, ugly pattern.” Someone reading thinks “Cheers, I’ve just bought/I am wearing that.”
So I also think that there is clearly a subjective element to choosing patterns. A says there’s nothing worth wearing in this month’s edition, B says there’s four or five things she wants to make. I have almost a year’s copies now and am going to give it a break once I’ve got twelve, simply because I can’t sew fast enough to keep up with them. Stephanie (below) may be bored with them, for me they are the victim of their own success. They give me so much to sew when I have so little time….. So yeah, lots of Burda love from me too. And you must admit, when they hit it, you really do look wonderful in your BWOF garments – some real stunners you’ve made.
Oh but I have to admit it, I HATE absolutely ALL the craft stuff – it’s so naff. And here in Turkey they did an edition with some GHASTLY knitted and crocheted prize winning “exhibits”. I did think of writing a protest letter but no, I grit my teeth and keep on buying for the great patterns. And you are complaining about instructions – I have to go through them with a Turkish-English dictionary (only to find they say “Put in the zipper.” Oh , gee, thanks, never would have guessed that was next. But *how*?).
Anyway, I love your blog, perhaps it’s just my publishing experience that makes me sympathize with them.
March 1, 2010 at 2:18 pm
fiebie
no no no you get it wrong…the kid is wearing a necklace and thats the craft item. or perhaps its the kid you are ment to make….
and the cat is pretty pissed off…its saying ‘if she bats me on the arse with that broom again we’ll see whos wearing those pants.’
March 1, 2010 at 2:37 pm
selfishseamstress
Hahahahaha. Awesome. I have to admit, that thought that the necklace might be the project did briefly occur to me, and it’s as reasonable an explanation as any!
March 1, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Becky
The pants are probably fine. The poor girl just got out of Auschwitz.
March 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Lily
THAT is why I make my own patterns.
Although I do like the blouse in the 3rd picture.
March 1, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Mary in FL
Yeah, really, a broom AND a purse?
March 1, 2010 at 9:03 pm
km
I’m surprised. I thought jacket 101 in the February issue was very Selfish Seamstress. Yes the photo is very blown out, but that jacket is really beautiful. And top 122 would look wonderful on you.
March 1, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Amy Grant
Perhaps the half naked man is meant to give us something interesting to look at… I agree about that weird bow and balloon shrug…. wtf?? Nice review btw…
March 1, 2010 at 9:50 pm
Amy Grant
perhaps a bunch of patterns we couldnt draft ourselves might have been nice though…
March 2, 2010 at 2:15 am
lin3arossa
Look at the new Burda collection, there some non-innocuous item there: http://www.burdastyle.de/schnittmuster/hauptkollektion/
March 2, 2010 at 4:57 am
Marie-Christine
Don’t worry about naked-daddy pictures, they’re just fashionable in Europe at the moment. More of them in France, but maybe they’re trying to look Parisian as they often do (you can tell by the greasy hair).
As to the clothes, yeah they’re OK, if you need OK. Does make those wild ruffles look better though, doesn’t it? You’ll be finishing that blouse with more oomph I bet.
March 2, 2010 at 9:34 am
laura
This is how Burda messes with me- after months of eye rolling so sever that I need medical help for it, Burda comes back with a bunch of stuff I would actually WEAR. A lot, in multiple colors. Being hart to fit, I cannot buy anything but a t shirt off th rack, and those i usually fiddle with as well. Burda, you know how to hurt me.
March 2, 2010 at 10:28 am
selfishseamstress
Hey, that’s a good thing! I’m glad to hear it’s working for someone. And being hard to fit as well, I can totally sympathize- sounds like a good investment to me. If there was a ton of stuff in there that I wanted to wear, I’d snap it up! Certainly a better option than tedious t-shirt alteration :D
March 2, 2010 at 10:14 am
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March 2, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Kristine
I usualy dont buy many issues march-july, the spring and summerwear is rarely tempting. I think the magazine is aiming towards more inexperienced seamstresses now and that makes it boring for all. When i started sewing in the 80s i bought my first issues and most of the patterns where to difficult, but it kept me dreaming of what i could do eventually. I have a summerissue from the 60s and there is about five bikinis with real cups and now we have the triangular cup bikini year after year. Burda has always been great at inventive style and i dont like what i see now.
March 3, 2010 at 4:08 am
Justiina
I really wonder though, is it Burda or is it the fashion in general at the moment? Of course I do very very little clothes shopping, making all my clothes myself except the plain t-shirts, but lots of what I do see around is awfully blah, too… I buy Burda faithfully every month because I often find that the back issues get more interesting when more time passes…I’m that fashion-backward…(Ok, I am also a hoarder.) But I must agree that Burda is not so fashion-forward lately, since I’ve actually made garments from several new issues before having to wait for them to ripen in my mind. BTW, wasn’t there a lovely ruffle-necked blouse in the April preview???? I would have thought you would have loved that! :P
March 3, 2010 at 10:38 pm
peacockchic
The naked daddy picture also had me puzzled…LOL!! Maybe the craft is how to either make a man or how to get him to take care of the kids while you sew or something like that. Guess the potential storylines are endless like choose your own adventure.
Poor BWOF :O( I am also looking forward to my subscription lapsing in May. Hope they can pull me back in before I sever ties
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