If it’s March, that must mean it’s time for Burda girls to start making their wedding dresses! That’s right, ladies, if you haven’t got a wedding planned for June, you’d better go out and find yourself a fiance now because the bridal patterns are on their way, as shown in the new Burda March 2010 preview! Just don’t do anything that seems okay in concept but in real life looks like you decided to embellish your dress with the party favors:
For the sake of full disclosure, despite being a die hard Burda girl (well, except for these last few months in which I have allowed my subscription to lapse) I don’t have a wedding coming up in June. Which means that I am approaching their March wedding feature with with an eye for what can be rendered in other colors and shorter lengths to make for pretty stuff I can use. The organza craziness above is not fitting that criteria, but how about this pretty one?
I like the lace sleeves on that one and I’m imagining it in midnight blue. Now I just have to get *invited* to some weddings so I’ll have somewhere to wear it. Who’s getting married? Who wants the Selfish Seamstress at her wedding? [I have to warn you, I heckle. AND I need two slices of cake. Unless the cake is bad in which case I’ll heckle more. And when people say, “The greatest gift you can give us is your presence at our wedding,” I take that statement very seriously. I definitely wouldn’t want to disappoint you by giving you something inferior off of your Williams-Sonoma registry when you could have my presence.]
As for the regular clothes, again, nothing jumping at out at me in this issue, but it’s still the limited preview for now. I’m sort of keen on seeing this light coat, and wish the photo showed off its form better:
It has a charming, sunny Doris Day appeal to it, not unlike the Selfish Seamstress herself. Other than that, there are some not-so-interesting garments that I’m not picturing here, so that I can dedicate more space to a couple of WTF garments:
Ohhhh I hope the pattern is for the basic and practical straight skirt because I don’t understand what’s going on on top there and I suspect I would not like it better were it not completely obscured by the rose bouquet. Because I don’t want to think about what’s happening if Burda is venturing into the “shoulderless cape” territory. If they do it once, they will do it several times in the months to come. Actually, if you invite me to your wedding, I will come wearing this exact outfit. Come on, isn’t that worth an invite??? Plus I’m a crazy lady on the dance floor.
However, no amount of cake and wheedling could get me into this:
Sweet jeebus WHAT IS THAT? Is it a shrug? Is it a vest? For convenience’s sake, we will call it a “shrest.” That stand collar is taking it over the edge. Or maybe the navy leopard print is taking it over the edge. Or the double pleat chinos she’s wearing with it. The edge is now so far behind it, it’s impossible to say what exactly pushed it.
I actually don’t hate this outfit. I just hate this photo because I get the feeling that the model has dirty socks and empty cracker boxes all over the room and I would really like her to tell her that SHOES DO NOT BELONG ON THE BED. And mostly this photo upsets me because when I look at it I become my mom and that scares me a little.
As is often the case, the best outfit in Burda is one of the Plusmode numbers. Granted, I’m not so much into sewing formalwear, but isn’t this ensemble lovely:
Look at the portrait collar on that coat! The 3/4 bell sleeves! I’m imagining what the draping on the bodice looks like and in my head, it’s very very good. Doesn’t hurt that it’s paired with the bag and the shoes, a cart full of Louis Vuitton suitcases and that guy. I may have to try drafting this in my size.
Now I know you’re all waiting with baited breath for me to start ripping on the crafts, but….
They’re pretty unobjectionable. I mean, I guess the idea of putting a lone Easter egg in a bell jar is a little wacky, but other than that…. sunny painted eggs and bunny cutouts aren’t much for me to work with here. I’m starting to wonder if maybe they sacked the previous crafts editor?
Oh no wait, sorry, I found her. She just switched departments and is now doing the oh-so-superfluous feature on clothing embellishment:
Egad. This crafty clothing section is rapidly becoming my least favorite feature in Burda, the part where they hot glue random bits of lace and feathers and chiffon on unsuspecting, otherwise innocuous pieces of clothing. The first one is an exercise in couching which I guess is intended to cash in on the current marching band jacket trend in a very low rent way? And the second one is um. There are no words.
And that’s this month’s Burda forecast. I’ll be waiting eagerly by my mailbox for your wedding invite, hand hemming my shoulderless cape!
34 comments
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February 4, 2010 at 9:51 am
peter
OMG hilarious. Burda is pretty much terra incognita for me; thanks for the heads up. Not only are you coming to my wedding, you’re staging it.
February 4, 2010 at 10:11 am
selfishseamstress
Excellent. We have to get to work on engineering a tux with a cathedral length train. And training your dogs to carry it. This wedding is going to be off the hook.
February 4, 2010 at 10:05 am
Anonymous
“It has a charming, sunny Doris Day appeal to it, not unlike the Selfish Seamstress herself.”
Ok, this was going to be my snarkfest for the day… but then I kept reading and lost my job for howling outloud at “For convenience’s sake, we will call it a “shrest.””
You owe me a job.
February 4, 2010 at 10:06 am
Beangirl
“It has a charming, sunny Doris Day appeal to it, not unlike the Selfish Seamstress herself.” Ok, this was going to be my snarkfest for the day… but then I kept reading and lost my job for howling outloud at “For convenience’s sake, we will call it a “shrest.””
You owe me a job.
February 4, 2010 at 10:07 am
Beangirl
Oh hey look. I’m so brilliant and wonderful that WordPress posted my comment TWICE.
Now you owe me two jobs. Preferably both part-time with a very high salary.
February 4, 2010 at 10:09 am
selfishseamstress
Phew. I also toyed with the idea of calling it a “vug.” I’m glad I made the right call. Wait a sec… I thought commenting on my blog was your job. Have you been cheating on me by doing other things between 9 and 5???
February 4, 2010 at 10:11 am
Karin
Laugh out loud funny! You’ve hit the nail square on the head.
You are right that the plus size fashions often look like the nicest ones of the lot.
February 4, 2010 at 10:20 am
Angela
Your review is hilarious! Love it!
February 4, 2010 at 10:30 am
amber
I love your recap posts on the upcoming Burdas. <3
February 4, 2010 at 11:10 am
Nancy K
Very funny take on the first wedding dress. The embellishments are really in the lame department, worse than the crafts. Sometimes I think that they knockoff the crazy attention getting runway styling that no one in her right mind would wear and that hopefully was never produced.
February 4, 2010 at 11:12 am
sara
I hate the wedding dress with the used tissues stuck to it. I’ve been disappointed in Burda these last few issues. I feel there have been a few basics I can use, but nothing really new and creative.
February 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Elizabeth Gales
You forgot their oversized t-shirt pattern at the end of the preview. I wish that 80’s trend would go away.
Thankfully, I’m a 44-46 sized gal, so I’m having a good time with the last few Burdas.
February 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm
jen coyle
Just found your blog and I love it! I will totally invite you to my wedding this summer and provide ample cake, but only if you wear the shrest. Seriously, love your work, the Audrey/Giverny dress is stunning.
February 4, 2010 at 3:50 pm
selfishseamstress
Thanks! Hmmm… I could perhaps be convinced. What kind of cake will you be having? Say buttercream and I will start looking for some navy leopard print!
February 4, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Rachel
Thanks for the tip on the vintage Vogue pattern I want. It I probably will try to modify a pattern to get the dress. I am beginning to get the feeling I will never find it. I have been scouring the vintage pattern internet sites for and and am coming up with nothing. Thanks for the sneak peak at Burda.
February 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Love it! Sew it!
oh thank God!! I have been on Burda’s german site everyday looking out for the march edition because it is the wedding edition. My husband and I are having a blessing of our union this september and I want to make my dress myself, so its nice to see what they have. Thanks for the pictures.
February 4, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Kerry
I’m getting married this year…sometime….not sure when…but you’re invited. We’re not doing a traditional wedding ceremony. I want something that involves lawn darts and croquet and Indian food….but there will most definitely be cake of some sort. Really I am just looking for an opportunity to stage an event where I can wear The Dress. And yes, I will be sewing my own. And no, I don’t have a clue when we are getting married…probably sometime after I finish the dress.
I’ve got a pattern for my dress…I just need to grade it down to munchkin size. In fact, the reason I started sewing was because I became obsessed with patterns when searching for a vintage gown patter for my wedding dress. I figured that attempting to buy one would be silly given my size, unless I wanted a junior bridesmaid dress. I was looking for a pattern for my mom to use to sew me the dress and then I said “Ah feck it I am just going sew the damn thing myself.”
February 4, 2010 at 3:53 pm
selfishseamstress
That’s funny- my dream wedding is a backyard barbeque with Filipino food :) If you were were any smaller, you could shop for a first communion dress! Thank you for the invite. I will have my shoulderless cape ready to go at a moment’s notice! I’m excited for it. I can picture your friends all saying, “Who is that woman in the weird, weird outfit eating all the cake?” “I don’t know, she’s just some random sewing blogger who invited herself.” AWESOME.
February 4, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Kyle
What is going on with that guy’s pants? Pegged, cuffed, and tight at the crotch. WTF?
February 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Debbie
I hadn’t even noticed what he was wearing as the plus size outfit stole my attention, I had to go back to the pics and see what you were talking about.
I am guessing the male model they had booked called in sick and this guy doesn’t wear the same size pants. What other explanation could there be, lol.
February 4, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Julie
I’ve decided to renew my vows just so I could invite you to the ceremony. You can have all the cake you want if you wear the shrest WITH the shoulderless cape. I need someone to look and/or act crazier than I did on my wedding day. I ripped my petticoat out from under my dress and left it standing in the bathroom. Seriously, it stood on it’s own.
February 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Nikole
If i ever get married I’ll fly you to the location myself and give you a whole caribbean rum cake for yourself as long as you wear either a couching experiment, shrest/vug or that drapey pink thing trying to pass itself off as a blouse.
You are right about the plus size number it’s keeper…that collar is so flattering on her neckline
February 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm
allisonC
Thank you. How fantastic would it be if Burda employed you to write up the english pattern descriptions for them. I’m sure they would actually sell more copies.
February 5, 2010 at 2:20 am
Kristy
oh no! I just got the 12/09 issue in the mail (we’re a bit behind here in Australia) and thought it was crapsky, so don’t tell me they don’t improve! I just can’t give my subscription up though, I keep thinking the issue I stop getting will have some gem that everyone around the interwebs will sew into something fabulous and I’ll miss out………
February 5, 2010 at 3:08 am
Marie-Christine
Now you’ve managed to make me sorry I have no plans to marry in the next couple decades at least. How would you feel about a housewarming party, wouldn’t you have to wear a sleeveless cape for that? I’m sure I could come up with a cake you’d need 3 slices of, and then I’d also be contributing toward you fitting into nice Burda Plus outfits :-).
Seriously, down-grading Burda is just as easy as upgrading it, you could give it a whack.
February 5, 2010 at 4:14 am
pepija
I actually think that the green coat is the same as the blue crocodile version later in the preview.
love your blog, you do great clothes, a rarity in the blogland (oh, so much old lady stuff or crafty-crazy items are rolling around) . for once no pillowcases with drawstrings or ribbons passing for clothing!
February 5, 2010 at 6:44 am
Meredith P
I too always think the Burda plus designs are so much nicer! Haven’t tried downgrading yet (should I confess that right now, parts {only parts, mind you} are in Burda plus territory), but I’ve been tempted. Particularly in the neck and shoulders, I would have to go down several sizes, but I guess it can be done. Hmmm…I have nephews that are the marrying kind, perhaps I could drag you along to one of their events. You could be the long lost (crazy) relative that doesn’t bear *any* family resemblance and is oddly dress. They are 6’7″ BTW Wouldn’t the “family” shots be cute?
February 5, 2010 at 6:46 am
Meredith P
Just figured out what the couched jacket is: an homage to Michael Jackson with…shoestrings?
February 5, 2010 at 6:58 am
Elizabeth
Did you hear about the Sun Microsystems CEO that stole your haiku idea??? http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2010/feb/04/twitter-haiku
Shameless!
February 5, 2010 at 7:44 am
Lindsay T
I sure hope you are in negotiations for some fabulous book or marketing deal, because you are just too damn funny to be limited to the sewing blogosphere. So glad I found your blog; just wish it loaded faster. (Is it just me and WordPress blogs, or do others find them slow to load too?)
February 5, 2010 at 10:14 am
Progress report: Burda 1-2009-112 high waisted pencil skirt « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] invited to about a half dozen weddings on the condition that I wear some ridiculous combination of Burda 3.2010 garments, but I also got started on the stupid easy high waisted skirt from Burda 1.2009, model 112, using […]
February 5, 2010 at 10:53 am
melissa
You’ll be pleased to learn that the Russian full preview has revealed that there is no pink sleeveless cape abomination offered – it’s the blue skirt they’re offering!
February 5, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Burda 3.2010 preview update « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] if you were disappointed by yesterday’s limited sneak preview, the good news is that there are some nice options in March. This wrap shirt looks chic and […]
February 7, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Alexandra
Thanks for the laugh!