It’s a great, great day. I received my package in the mail from Sew Sassy, containing my Elan bra pattern and Sew Sassy bra kit, joy of joys! Only after I opened the package, I realized that Sew Sassy had included the wrong pattern. I had ordered B540, but they had sent B510, their front close underwire pattern:
So, what makes it a great day if I received a pattern in the mail that I don’t want? Well, I emailed the good folks at Sew Sassy, who very kindly promised to send the correct pattern in the mail and said not to bother sending the B510 back. As they put it, “If you can’t use it, perhaps you have a sewing friend that can.”
But of course, as we all know, the Selfish Seamstress has no friends! Not a one! So she’s going to toss it into the reader pool as a giveaway, which means that once again, she can use this delightful windfall to turn all of you against each other like a pack of wild dogs fighting over a package of raw hamburger, an idea which delights her to no end. I’m sure even the vegetarians in the crowd will overlook that imagery for a nice bra pattern, right?
And you don’t even have to share the Selfish Seamstress’s, er…. maidenly contours to use this pattern, because it includes sizes 32A-D, 34A-D, 36A-DD, 38B-DD, and 40B-DD. It’s printed on nice sturdy paper too. And of course, you can get everything you need to sew it up from Sew Sassy. You can even opt for one of their handy bra kits (pattern not included in their kits.)
The Rules.
You have to do two things if you’d like to be considered:
1) Wander on over to Male Pattern Slander (lately quite the hotbed of lies about your poor, defenseless Selfish Seamstress) and leave a comment to let Peter know that in answer to his question, yes, the Selfish Seamstress does indeed have great taste in patterns
AND
2) Leave a comment here on this post of 100 words or fewer stating why YOU deserve this pattern and NO ONE ELSE does. That second part is important. Seriously, girls, get your b faces on. In the estimation of the Selfish Seamstress, there’s not enough strife in sewing… yet.
Judging will be based on which comment makes me cackle in evil glee most loudly. Random number generators are only for those who believe in “fairness.”
Disclaimer 1: I assume it should be reasonably affordable to send this pattern to most places in the world, but if I take it to the post office and the cheapest shipping option is still more than $10, I reserve the right to throw it back into another giveaway.
Disclaimer 2: Judging by how glacially slow I was to send out the prizes from my last giveaway, the winner is expected to nag me repeatedly until they are sure that I have actually put it in the mail. Otherwise I have a high likelihood of flaking :)
Oh, let’s say you have until Friday at 11:59 PM Eastern time. Okay?
GO!
The Selfish Seamstress 
70 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 25, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Sophie
Okay, this is why I deserve the pattern: because I am a poor college student (well, almost college student) who can never find bras that fit her. Like you, I have maidenly contours that the rest of the world can only shake their heads in amazement at. This means that most of the bras that, while not fitting properly, will at least stay on, are usually “teen bras.” They say there is no shame in this culture, but I draw the line at wearing cartoon character underwear.
Also, I have never won a pattern giveaway, and while life is clearly not fair, I think it should be unfair in my favor every once in a while.
Also, if I ever were to win a pattern giveaway, I would probably be thrilled and post about it on my blog. And then, of course, more people would be exposed to the Gospel of Selfishness, which can only be a good thing, yes?
No one else deserves this pattern because no one else is as awesome as I am. My brother told me just last week that I’m his favorite Sophie. I beat out a whole two other girls for the title of Best Sophie. That should count for a lot, I think!
Also, everyone else who enters will probably be a master seamstress who can whip up a bra in ten minutes. I am a rank beginner in the lingerie world. I don’t know how that’s relevant, but maybe it will make you feel sympathetic towards me. :D
May 25, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Sophie
Oh dear. I think that was a lot more than 100 words. Umm…rules are for suckers?
May 25, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Christina
I deserve the bra pattern because one of my boobs’ growth spurt lasted a little longer than the other boob. Therefore, I need a bra pattern in which I can make one cup slightly larger. And then I promise to make as many people as possible jealous of the fact that I have the perfect fitting bra. And maybe I will flash people just to show off.
May 25, 2010 at 3:09 pm
birdmommy
I deserve this bra pattern because I’m just like the Selfish Seamstress. But with boobs. Big ones. And I’m tall. And pasty white. But other than that, we’re twins. Honest.
I don’t know if that makes you cackle, but my comment on Peter’s blog might…
May 25, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Christina
I deserve this bra pattern, because I suffered through Victoria’s Secrets and even high-end lingerie stores and learned that the lingerie industry either thinks small girls should go bra-less (as they expect with big girls) and that all small girls wish to have double-Ds.
May 25, 2010 at 3:29 pm
kristi
Me! Me! Me! Me! I need new bras, and I am devoting my life to following in your selfish seamstressy ways. So instead of letting this go to someone else, I demand that you give it to me.
May 25, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Amy
I deserve this bra pattern because, while I loathe everything the Selfish Seamstress says or does, and shudder at the thought of accepting anything from her out of the so-called “kindness” of her shriveled, black heart, I can’t help but want to emulate her in all things sewing. And no one else should have this pattern because, frankly, no other nearly-39-year old out there has a pair of girls that are still as fabulous and perky as mine (no kids!). Plus, I always wear the underwire front-closure style, so this should totally be mine!
May 25, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Liara
Give the pattern to Peter!! His cousin Cathy clearly shares your “maidenly contours” and would adore a pretty piece of frippery!
May 25, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Susan
Like I suggested on Peter’s blog, I’m betting this is just some clever ploy to soften us poor suckers up before you whip out the large-scale selfish and evil. Good, snarky evil, not bad evil (duh). That having been said, I deserve this pattern because my maidenly curves are anything but maidenly and would like to at least be able to play the part. Also, the boytoy hasn’t matured much past his teenage self and still finds glee in unhooking my bras (I know… I know…I swear he’s a nice guy). A front closure bra would even up our score in an oh so clever way.
No one else deserves this pattern as much as I do, and I am dismayed at your trend towards “friendliness” and “generosity”. You giving me this pattern would nip that right in the bud. We can’t have you needing to change your blog to something terrible like “The FORMERLY Selfish Seamstress” now, can we?
May 25, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Hatty
I think you should give it to me because I live in a country where everyone else seems to be what they call “Asian standard size” and I am what they call “European standard size” and (otherwise generally polite) young women in shops actually openly SNIGGER when I say that at 5’5″ a size 14, 36C/D, I am in fact not EXTRA LARGE and they MUST have something in stock for me. They usually don’t or they offer me “granny bras” and wince in disgust when I say I want something more attractive! I am in my forties so obviously any desire a crone such as I who suffers from gigantism and self-delusion might have to be attractive to my significant other should have withered and died along with my ovaries by now. Oh, the humiliation of buying bras from short, slender young women with a build like YOURS! So that’s why I should have it.
And why shouldn’t anybody else have it? Well, because I selfishly choose to live far enough away to actually cost you 10 dollars to send it.
Otherwise, perhaps we could just swap residences for a while…. a bra-shopping-while….
May 25, 2010 at 4:26 pm
peacockchic
In 100 words or less…
’cause I said so… (said in very selfish tone)
’nuff said :OP
May 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm
selina
i totally deserve this bra pattern because i am CHEAP… yes, i said it.. i REFUSE to buy myself a specialty bra in my embarrassingly small post nursing/sucked the life out of bra size so i just wear the cheapest thing i can find and let the girls droop…
my sisters tease me because i have even gone so far as to buy a childrens training bra thinner than a tee- shirt… i wear it proudly because like i said i am majorly cheap and i could care less that the “headlights” are always “on”.
honestly, a well-fitting supportive bra must not be that important to me… i will totally buy DOZENS of beautiful shoes before i will replace a dingy ill-fitting training bra…
in conclusion, some sucking up… you kind of rock, like majorly rock! i only wish i had your sewing skills. i have only really attempted to make my kids things because if they don’t turn out i have only wasted half as much fabric as i would have in my size… your coffee date dress will be my first try for me… and then the selfishness can truly begin!
May 25, 2010 at 5:45 pm
CGCouture
I deserve it because I am the queen of all things awesome. And because I’ll rock it like no one else could. ;-)
May 25, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Carmen
Selfish Seamstress I love you. You have brought unending joy to my otherwise drab world of cheap, low-end clothing. The mere thought of your blog sets me all aflutter! I strive to only dream of becoming anything like your shadow let alone your glorious self!
Having said all that, I deserve this pattern because without it I would be an empty shell of a human being, tossed about on the daily waves of life, crashing into the shore of embitterment…
May 25, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Allie
I deserve that pattern because once in college I read a Cosmo article with their “101 Newest Sex Tips” (there have since been exactly 94699237674 other issues with 101 newer sex tips). The article said that a woman should wait till the point of errr…climax…and fling open her front closure bra. See the only thing stopping from me doing this, other than sanity, is my lack of a front closure bra.
Plus, I actually started sewing because I wanted to make my own lingerie due to the lack of affordable options not made by 6 year olds halfway around the world. And yet, I have made none. Yes, I own 1 bra that fits well and a bunch of underwear with holes. I’m a classy dame. And who better to pass a pattern to than someone who will make the selfish seamstress seem more classy just by association? I thought so.
May 25, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Shiny Green Penny
Ooooh, that was so much fun leaving a comment on “that other” blog (evil grin).
I need this bra pattern because I have two young children, who caused my beloved breasts to become saggy enough to have to be tucked into the waistband of my pants to keep them under control (gee, what a great ‘thank you’ for giving life to them – huh!).
Need a mental picture? Think of “There’s Something About Mary” with the old bronzed broad and the boobs down to her navel….and I’m only in my 30’s!!!!!!! Ick!! (and if you ever needed motivation to be selfish and not give birth, keep that thought in mind!!)
Need an image from the flick? Check this link http://themakeupgallery.info/character/gross/shaye/lsmary.htm
By the way, I do adore my children, but I still need to whine and cry about the great sacrifices I made for them. Tee hee.
Not to worry, I promise not to send you a picture of my boobs……
So, YES, I NEED A NEW BRA!!!!!!!
May 25, 2010 at 8:57 pm
katie
I FOR SURE deserve this because I am the Queen of bra collectors! Seriously i could throw down a whole lotta woopbutt in a bra boutique at christmas time to get my hands on the last 32D in the shop (i am a dirty shopper/fighter). Also it is way too much of a coinkidink that last night I wrote in my journal that i should really learn how to sew bras because i would love to start my own little couture sexy rock inspired lingerie business out of my home. I promise i will send you one (if you let me win this pattern haha). I have been a lover of lingerie since I started growing boobies…which was what 12/13?? And they have not stopped growing ever since!!! It would be perfect to win this so i make the straps shorter and the right fit without spending major mulla!
May 25, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Deb
Because I am a wild, succulent woman who demands to have my girls be fitted and flattered by only the best I can make! Who wants what every other marketing genius believes I should have when I can make the most luscious, soft, silky, lacey underthings that my girls will delightedly wiggle and jiggle in to my husbands fantasies! In his dreams if he thinks he’s getting his grotty fingers on this lovely bra once made up! Snigger!
Now better get on over to that other blog and comment!
May 25, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Imaan
I think I deserve this because after having nursed 3 kids for almost 2 years each in 4.5 years, wearing maternity bras the whole time, which are uncomfortable and very unattractive, I think I deserve to finally start being a bit more selfish, like you, and do something for me. No more Mrs Nice Mummy!
May 26, 2010 at 12:51 am
Jane
Hmmppp!!! Why do bra pattern makers assume that you have to be a size 36 before requiring anythng larger than a D cup! I’m a 30FF – so don’t go sending it my way thank you cos it WON’T FIT MY MAIDENLY CURVES!!! (Stomping off in hissy fit – just how mean and low down can that evil black hearted Selfish Seamstress get?)
May 26, 2010 at 2:20 am
CarmencitaB
You are conspiring to rule the sewing world and I want no part of it!
Recently, you’ve given a pattern to Peter, travelled to Montréal and Helsiniki to spread your wicked sewing ways to seamstresses the world over. You are deceitful and cunning, next you are going to start giving money to charity!
I am no fool and your secret plot and superhuman power and cunning will not work on me anymore.
I wised up when you secretly instructed me to sew pyjama pants for my husband and got no ring in return.
Now I know! And this is where is stops! I don’t want your bra pattern, resistance starts here, with me!
May 26, 2010 at 5:51 am
Amy
I deserve this pattern because I only have one bra that I bought 2 years ago and I travelled to NYC almost solely to buy said bra. Needless to say it is time for a new bra but finding one that fits, is decently nice looking and less than $100 is near impossible. Which is why I haven’t bought a new one yet. And have had my eye on making my own for a while now. i also think i deserve this pattern because I really liked the pattern the selfish seamstress sent to Peter for Cathy and I thought Cathy looked fabulous in it. And it is ok for the selfish seamstress to be nice to other people once in awhile as long as we don’t come to expect it from her and she still remains mostly selfish:)
May 26, 2010 at 5:57 am
Jess
For all you out there who also want this pattern you are lucky because I, unfortunately, cannot knock you out of the running in person, due to being all the way in Australia, but watch out because you can never rule out voodoo, telepathy and all other forms of long distance sabotage. As for you Selfish, while I do so much enjoy reading the triumphs of one succeeding so admirably with their life goal, these powers of sabotage can go both ways. One so intelligent as yourself I’m sure can work out what that they can be used to great affect against all nemesi both current and future, or in another direction depending on the recipient of this pattern. In other words give me! OR ELSE!
May 26, 2010 at 6:06 am
June
I deserve this pattern because I’m about to give birth to twins who will then bend to my will as I force them to breastfeed so that I can lose all of this pregnancy weight. To hell with the cuddling, bonding, and maternal antibodies contributing to their immune system! Also, commercial maternity bras suck – they have you unhook the cup and let it fall under the breast, but guess where all the spilled milk goes?!? Stupid designers were probably men. Another inexplicable feature of most maternity bras – they are made of extra-thin spandex or similar and have no underwire, which is ridiculous because when you’re a size D or higher and are full of milk, a little cup of stretch fabric just ain’t gonna do anything to raise your nipples above the navel.
May 26, 2010 at 6:07 am
June
Der, and I keep writing “maternity bra” when I mean “nursing bra.”
May 26, 2010 at 6:40 am
selfishseamstress
Ladies, ladies. Believe me, no one loves demands, whining, self-pity, tantrums, threats, and sucking up more than I do. But don’t forget the second part of the essay!
May 26, 2010 at 6:48 am
Becky
I definitely deserve this bra pattern the most, because commercial retailers refuse to cater to me. It’s not my fault that most girls with my band size are apparently flat-chested, and most girls with my cup size are apparently also bigger than I am. With the lengths that I’ve gone to to maintain my figure–I’m a musician, for crying out loud, I can’t afford to buy both food AND fabric!–it’s only fair that stores should acknowledge all of my hard work by selling more bras in my size. But they don’t. (Especially not with padding. It’s not my fault I get cold easily.) So I need this pattern so I can selfishly keep my hard-earned money away from those selfish retailers. (Plus if I don’t have to buy overpriced, ill-fitting bras anymore, I might be able to buy more food.)
May 26, 2010 at 6:50 am
Becky
p.s. I deserve this way more than all of those moms, because a) I’ll actually have time to use it, and b) being single and childless makes me naturally more self-centered than them. And that’s something that I’m sure Selfish will approve of.
May 26, 2010 at 7:32 am
Cindy
I deserve this pattern because I have in my stash the perfect fabric to complete the perfect bra for the perfect woman. Moi! I’m quite convinced that none other here is as deserving as I am, thus they shall remain braless.
May 26, 2010 at 9:03 am
Amy
I deserve it because I have the chest of a 12 year old boy. Victoria’s Secret laughs at me… the only bra they have that might fit is one that “enhances” me by 2 sizes, making me look like a schoolgirl that just overstuffed her bra with tissues. So, now I, a 37 yo woman, have resorted to wearing her 15 yo daughter’s outgrown training bras. What I wouldn’t give (or take!) to be able to make a lovely bra that made me feel like I could shop in the grown ups dept!
Being the selfish woman you are, I know that you will never send it to me. I’m sure this is all just a ploy to make us spend our sewing time composing essays.
May 26, 2010 at 9:38 am
katy
This pattern is mine. It’s meant to be. For my birthday, I traveled over an hour to the only store in the state that carries my bra, only to be informed that the company is no longer making my bra, or even my size at all. Being of a most maidenly shape, and refusing to settle for anything less than what I like, I’m faced with making my own bras from now on. But, how? Well, with said pattern, which might I remind you, is mine? Front closure and everything, it’s pretty much just like my sad little bras which no longer exist.
No one else deserves this pattern because they don’t know what it is like to shop in the little girls’s department for bras – to be laughed at by their little sisters because of said little girl bras. Besides, would any of them actually make the pattern? NO! They’re just trying to win to take the pattern away from me – the rightful owner – which, true, is rather selfish, but not as selfish as my refusal to let them have it. If they want it, let them spend their hard earned dollars – then it will be their own money rotting in their pattern hoard, and not just Selfish castoffs.
P.S. This pattern is also mine, because I need to look like a grown-up lady so people won’t think I’m my husband’s daughter! Hearts and rainbows on my bra, sheep and bunny nightgown, puh-lease! If i’m hiding a sexy made-for-me bra beneath my child-sized tops, it’s selfish power will shine through and I will be a woman.
May 26, 2010 at 9:58 am
Alexandra Mason
I deserve this pattern because ever since my Mom took me to be measured for my first bra (many years ago) i have a fear of bra shopping, and i deseve not to have to go through this horrible experience. I also deserve this pattern because i have took time out of my very busy selfish schedule to comment for the first time.
May 26, 2010 at 10:12 am
Katy
Why me? I’m a new selfish sewing convert who needs to build up a hoard of patterns to gloat over. Plus, I love your beautifully tailored clothes and witty blog.
Why am I the best? I don’t insult you by assuming this is generosity or that you’re interested in pathetic tales of my bra woes. Oh, and by the way, I can count to 100.
What’s in it for you? Depriving other ladies who really need a bra pattern, while sending me a project I’m sure to spend hours of frustration on would be sheer brilliance!
~The Best Katy
May 26, 2010 at 11:27 am
Hatty
100 words? Because I cannot buy a nice bra to fit where I live. Because i live fare emough away for it to cost you…..
May 26, 2010 at 11:39 am
Anne
I deserve this pattern because I have an enormous fabric stash, and a huge number of patterns, and probably bigger dreams of sewing fantastic garments of all types for myself than anyone else reading your blog. I don’t have a single bra pattern, so how can I say my stash is complete?? Besides, I said I have big dreams, not big piles of completed projects, so the bra pattern will probably sit unused by me (and thus, selfishly not available to others!) for a long, long time.
May 26, 2010 at 1:16 pm
geminimistress
I deserve the bra pattern because i am a 40DD, it is soooo hard to find a bra that is sexy and inexpensive at the same time. if they are sexy they cost upwards of 50 bucks and if they are inexpensive the make my girls look like bullets.
May 26, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Summer
I need this pattern because all pretty bras think I want to be a D cup (the horror!). Or I shop with the 12yo girls and feel like a pedophile. I loved Jezebel until size inflation hit–I am not a 32A not matter what they say!
I could buy the pattern for myself, but I’m too lazy and selfish. Don’t you dare laugh at my plight! Just because the girls are uneven and don’t both fit any one size? Not funny at all.
tee hee
May 26, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Stephie
The pattern is mine. Seriously? The only thing harder than reading your blog is reading multitudes of responses about breastfeeding. Ladies – NO.
Plus I live in Chicago. This means I might send you fabric from Vogue, but most likely I’ll just hang out with you when you visit Chicago. I’ll accept this as an early bribe.
Then I’ll flaunt my newly made bra with my pretty awesome, easy to fit boobies. If it’s any consolation, I’ll wear a coffee date dress over my new bra when we go out.
May 26, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Janet
I deserve this bra pattern because I had this bra pattern and kit once and I lost it when I moved. Oh, I’m sure it’s there somewhere in the basement surrounded by cobwebs and dust but I’m not going to ever find it. Also, I’ve lost 40 pounds. Unfortunately, not a bit of it was in my chest. My old bra is falling apart. Today the lace fell off the right cup. I’m thinking of using the tail of lace as a halter top to help keep the girls up in the right places since the elastic is shot, too.
May 26, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Amy
I deserve the pattern because I’m nearly done breastfeeding my fifth child in seven years, and haven’t had a new bra in nearly nine years (what’s the use, when your boobs change size every couple of months?) Other’s don’t because their girls haven’t been constantly changing size for eight years now! If I don’t win, I’ll actually have to buy a bra. Either way, I can’t wait. You can’t ruin my day by choosing someone else, SS!
May 26, 2010 at 9:21 pm
Amy Esquivel
I deserve this give-a-way and no one else because I’m always entering contests like this and I have never won. My number is NEVER randomly generating and my comments are NEVER witty enough to stand out above the crowd. People are much too cute and sarcastic in blogland, and it’s NOT fair. I want to win! I deserve to win! Pick me, pick me, pick me!!!!!
May 27, 2010 at 12:48 am
Kelly
Miss Selfish, lets be honest here, I want this pattern so no one else can have it. Plain an simple.. I dont want to share. So if you are going to PR Montreal.. put it in your suitcase and take it with you… that will take care of both Disclaimer 1 & 2… No shipping for you and no nagging on my part, for you to send the darn pattern to me already.. I think that is a win win situation all around… Don’t you agree.. ?:)
May 27, 2010 at 8:34 am
Jessica
I DESERVE this pattern because I just do. :) I can think of reasons that you don’t really want to be bored with, including I need a bra with front closures for easy breastfeeding access, etc, etc, but I’ll spare you the details & just say, ME (hand waving furiously in the air)!!!!!!! LOL :)
May 27, 2010 at 8:46 am
dana
make me a nice bra?
/sudo make me a nice bra?
I’ll do it myself!
May 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Linnea
I deserve this pattern because after 13 years of sewing, I’VE NEVER sewn something for another person. Only me, me, selfish me. And, I have boobs.
May 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm
pakrk
I deserve the pattern because I live in a small community, and in this small community, I will proclaim, for all to hear, of the terrible awesomeness that is TSS. I will make the bra and flaunt my well-fitted bra to all while refusing any & all requests for ‘one just like it’. No one else deserves the pattern because they undoubtedly don’t have my skill in acquiring patterns & fabric that never see the light of day in a finished garment; my stash’s only purpose is to keep them out of the hands of others.
May 27, 2010 at 1:16 pm
The Ungracious Winner
I DON’T deserve this pattern. In a world of neediness I sit alone in my Fortress of Satiation, wanting nothing, needing no one and finding nothing worthy. My minions stand below me, gazing up at my magnificent self-sufficiency crying “My GOD she is a vision of perfection! But uh…,” they go on, “…what’s up with her boobs? Is that one sort of like…lower than the other one? No…no I think it’s just her bra. And look she’s got those bumps on top too, like she’s got four of them! How embarrassing! Is that a Target label? Wow. Do they even make that model anymore? Some Selfish bastard should really give this chick a bra pattern…let’s get out of here.”
May 27, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Sophie
You are so wonderful and I love your blog!
I have given you a little award on my blog here:
http://jaggedideal.blogspot.com/
love, Sophie
May 27, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Sarah
I want this bra pattern…not because I desperately want to make a bra, mind you. In fact, I’d rather hear an endless stream of lame knock-knock jokes than make a bra using this pattern! I desperately want this pattern for myself as a reminder of how many pathetic, wannabe selfish seamstresses and their “girls” wanted it, and will now have to do without because of ME!!! As soon as I receive this pattern, I plan to frame it nicely and hang it above my sewing machine as a constant reminder of my awesome selfish powers that grow by leaps and bounds each time that I visit this blog.
Disclaimer: After Selfish Seamstress makes a bra using the B540 pattern, I *might* try my hand at this pattern, for the sole purpose of comparing my results with hers. Don’t count on it, though. I never have a problem finding a great-fitting bra at the store, and as you’ve likely already guessed, am too selfish to waste my precious, limited time on a project such as this.
May 27, 2010 at 7:36 pm
queentanya
I deserve the bra because because I am the queen. Always have been, am now, ever will be. Period. I could tell you about how I devote my life to the betterment of mankind, which is true, but as the Selfish Seamstress, why would you care? I’m no fool. So, why me? Simply because…
….I have a big bust
and I cannot lie, other
sewers need not apply.
Word. Finally, you are giving away something I could actually FIT INTO! Downright unselfish….
May 27, 2010 at 8:09 pm
queentanya
You know what? I thought about it, and I don’t “deserve” or “need” the pattern–give it to me anyway because I just WANT it. I’m so narcissistic I’ll comment twice and not care about going over my “100 word allowance.”
May 28, 2010 at 2:32 am
Hana - Marmota
You know what? I’m not entering your giveaway. You want to make me selfish. I REFUSE to be selfish. You can be selfish as much as you want, and I’ll secretly laugh at you and your jokes of selfishness, and happily sew things for people around me and do other rather unselfish things, like giving fabric to charity.
So no, I don’t deserve this pattern – it would catch dust for years anyway – and I’m not entering your giveaway. FOR REAL. You can make sure of it by checking Peter’s site. I’m not going to spread the word of your taste in patterns there.
I might, though, comment on his site about other things. Like HIS taste in patterns.
(Oh, and I do love your taste in patterns.)
May 28, 2010 at 7:27 am
Rose in SV
Dang, I need cute bras and I have a hard time finding them in my size. I would love to work with a bra pattern and develop a pattern I can sew. What else can I do with 100 yards of brightly colored fabric?
Rose in SV
May 28, 2010 at 7:49 am
Clio
I feel fated to win this little contest of yours, Selfish Seamstress.
Just the other day, I wrote about proper bra fit on my own blog. Sure, I bundled it up as a Public Service Announcement, but really the whole point of the post was to tell the world how fabulous my tatas are looking right about now. My quest is to buy up every bra and sewing pattern in my size in a bid for total bosom world domination. What can I say? I am a selfish muse and I just don’t want anyone else to experience the marvelous lift and separation that my own beautiful babaloo’s are currently experiencing.
Clio
http://fivemuses.blogspot.com/
May 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm
Kelli
I would LOVE to win the bra pattern because one of my….errrrr, girls is significantly larger than the other. What in the name of all that is good and holy am I supposed to do with that? Stuff one half of a bra?
I MUST win because, according to my 6 year old, I’m the BEST, and he’s right.
Never mind that it varies from one second to the next what I’m the best at or of, he’s 6 and he’s RIGHT!
May 28, 2010 at 8:59 pm
VintageofNow
I deserve this pattern because I have some dumbass b*tch that copies every single solitary thing I do. I am not exaggerating. Yes, down to the underwear. That’s why I don’t WEAR underwear anymore…but I digress. She will ask “Oh, where did you buy this?” or “Oh, that’s cute, did you get that at ___?” and then PROCEED TO go and purchase the EXACT same article of clothing, shoes, spicerack, toilet paper, ok you get the picture. The one and only thing I have on this idiotic excuse for a woman is that I am a 34H and she is a sad little 34B. *sigh* <–(insert evil grin) So yeah, this means even if I do get this pattern I will have to alter it but Oooooh wouldn't revenge be so sweet when after having snooped in my closet she comes back with, "Oh where did you get this? I must have one!" I can say, "HA you stupid bitch, I MADE it." Makes me smile just thinking about it.
No other person should get this pattern because they are most likely similar to this sad little copy-cat wretch that has no original thought in her wee brain. Even here, now, there is much worship going on of The SS and trying to copy her pattern purchases and her styles.
SO that's why I deserve it. I would do it JUSTICE and would NEVER SHARE.
May 29, 2010 at 8:13 am
queentanya
You’re good. I tip my hat.
May 28, 2010 at 9:59 pm
lorrwill
I think I already have this pattern so I am just letting you know that your comment on Peter’s blog almost made choke to death laughing so hard.
May 28, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Anonymous
Well, Ms Selfish – you have probably outdone yourself here. I suspect that this has all been a clever plot.
First, you give a pattern to Peter. We all think, “Gosh, has Ms SS done an unselfish act of generousity? Then, under the guise of further generosity (aka giving away a pattern), you have induced many of your unsuspecting followers to flood Peter’s blog, not with comments about his fabric choice or sewing skills, but with nice comments about you.
I suspect that this whole thing has been a cleverly orchestrated plot, right from the start, giving away things you didn’t want in the first place, just so you could get so many people to put nice comments about your taste in patterns ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BLOG!!!! Not only that, but on the blog of your NEMESIS!!
Well done Elaine. I have been a follower of yours for long enough to have learned some lessons from you, so I will not waste my time pandering to your ego by putting posts about your taste in patterns on Peter’s blog.
I will, however, applaud you for such a fantastic demonstration of the highly developed art of selfish seamstressing – so successful that some people will even think you are being generous!!
(and anyway, I live too far away to win the bra pattern, so why should I care!!)
May 29, 2010 at 11:41 am
Peter
Flooding is right. She’s right up there with British Petroleum in my book.
May 28, 2010 at 11:39 pm
Susannah (the other one, from Australia)
oops. Didn’t mean the last post to be anonymous. I am not afraid of you, Ms Selfish (well, only a little bit – and i live so far away that I may, with careful disguises, escape your revenge!!)
May 29, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Susannah (the other one, from Australia)
And can we, by her silence, assume that I have correctly revealled her masterfully selfish plot??
Or will she, in the spirit of true selfishness, ignore my post (and selfishly deny me any pleasure in having worked out her ulteriour motives??
May 29, 2010 at 10:25 am
Karen
I should win this pattern–only ME! because as I have written before,
http://fabgrandma.com/how-to-enlarge-your-breasts-overnight/
I HATE shopping for bras. If I had this pattern, I could make my own, and they would actually FIT me when I was done.
May 30, 2010 at 12:51 am
Renee
Well, it’s only too obvious why I’m destined for B510. They sent it to you by “mistake” because the Great Power of the Universe planned that you, Oh Selfish One, had to concoct this convoluted “giveaway” scheme in order to:
A. get the awesome front close bra pattern to me (most important)
B. give you props for looking “generous”
C. fill up MPB’s comment box w/ praise of you and teach him a lesson (sucka)
D. let all those other betches know whose clever comment beats them into snuff aaaand who just wants it the most (99 words btw)
May 30, 2010 at 10:57 pm
VintageofNow
When you are announcing me as the winner? What the hell?
May 31, 2010 at 6:36 am
selfishseamstress
rough week here. keep your pants on. i’ll try to get to it this afternoon.
May 31, 2010 at 11:34 pm
VintageofNow
Tsk, tsk Too bad your week is rough but you’ve ignored your own deadline. TWICE. What’s up with you, Woman?
June 2, 2010 at 8:21 am
Stephie
Still no announcement?! And to think – it was a holiday weekend! My oh my, you ARE selfish. Here we all sit in suspense, suspending barbecues and Memorial day celebrations and 2 days later there’s still no winner!
June 4, 2010 at 11:55 am
VintageofNow
You’re just hoping everyone forgets, huh. Well not me, I’m just as stubborn as you are.
June 4, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Geez, here’s your bra already. I’m off to knit. « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] thanks for your concerned messages, and for the gentle (and some not-so-gentle!) prompts for the Elan 510 bra pattern giveway. I’m doing okay here but will probably be sparse on both sewing and blogging for a […]