Revisiting failure. Have you been there?

I’ve been waffling on what to work on next, tracing out the odd pattern and then deciding I don’t really want to work on it right now. Last night, I think I finally settled on something, the Burda 114 blouse from 4/2007, the second issue of Burda I ever bought. The photo from the magazine is kind of bad in a 1995 way:

But I think the line drawing is great- it would be a nice fun blouse for under a cardigan or jacket for work:

And I’ve got some dark brown stretch poplin with white woven pinstripes and a nice sheen in my stash that would be great for it:

This is no mere blouse, however.  This is a blouse that defeated me the first time I tried to make it.  It was one of the first real sewing projects I ever attempted, perhaps a month or two into my garment sewing hobby and I ended up abandoning it pretty quickly. At the time, the concept of a muslin was foreign to me, and after grading it down to a size 32 and cutting it out of white shirting, it became clear that the blouse was going to be a bra-displaying failure. A whole lot of things seemed like they were going to go wrong with this blouse.  And judging from Cidell’s experience, it seems like they would have gone wrong had I proceeded. (Cidell, as far as I can tell, you are the only other person in the world who has ever attempted this blouse!)

Last night I looked over it again and tried to figure out what I would need to change so that the neckline wasn’t hanging halfway down my torso.  Petite adjustment above the bustline? SBA? And then it occurred to me, DUH, MAKE THE NECKLINE HIGHER. It’s funny- I’m so used to cutting chunks and slicing slivers OUT of patterns to make them fit, it never occurs to me to actually add more paper to them. I plan on making a couple more adjustments as well based on Cidell’s experience and what I can remember from my first attempt of almost 3 years ago. 

This is going to be a first for me – actually revisiting a pattern that failed badly enough that I didn’t finish it, didn’t fiddle with it and make hacks until it was wearable. Usually if something looks like it’s going to flop completely, I decide that the pattern just isn’t for me. But I think I might be able to make this one work this time. Maybe.

How about you?  Have you ever revisited a failure pattern to make it work?  What did you do differently and how did it go?

Selfish Seamstress Nemesis: Lauriana

If it’s Monday, or any other day of the week, that must mean that the Selfish Seamstress is not good at making friends. It’s therefore time for her to unveil her latest foe: Lauriana, a.k.a. “Mad Skills Nemesis,” a.k.a. “Innovative Nemesis.”

The Selfish Seamstress has to admit, she is terrified of this latest nemesis. Unlike nemesis Yoshimi, Lauriana has not hurled insults at the Selfish Seamstress from every angle. Unlike nemesis Peter, Lauriana has not started a blog solely intended to destroy the Selfish Seamstress. However, the Selfish Seamstress feels the need to warn her readers of the very dangerous and wicked Lauriana, as she strongly suspects that Lauriana is possessed by evil demons, as only the occult could explain her supernatural genius and fear-inducing talent. Now, I know what you’re thinking: the Selfish Seamstress has gone too far, accusing another home seamstress of being the tool of evil spirits. But I think you will understand the need to elevate Lauriana to Selfish Seamstress Nemesis status once you see the evidence of the kind of talent and brilliance that could only result from some serious soul selling:

1) Lauriana can draft like nobody’s business. In fact, as far as I can tell, Lauriana has barely touched a pattern not of her own hand in years.  Oh sure, the Selfish Seamstress has been known, with copious amounts of time, effort, and scrap fabric, to draft up a very simple dress or skirt. But Lauriana drafts like a fiend – a clear indication that very black magic is involved. Why bother with commercial patterns when you can conjure up everything better yourself?  White flowy blouse? Sure, why not?

Jeans that are beyond chic? Whatever.

Jacket that would make Jackie O. jealous? Child’s play for Lauriana and her mystical powers.

2) Lauriana is so innovative, only the supernatural can account for it.  Her ideas are brilliant in a way that can only be explained by madness, and she realizes them flawlessly. When I think about what the inside of Lauriana’s head must look like, I imagine there’s a big cabinet in there and it’s sort of like the Vogue pattern drawers with some Patrones stuffed in there too, with all of the boring and ugly stuff taken out and a little witchcraft thrown in. Seriously. You give her a big old leather jacket, and she cuts it up into bits to make a sleek new one:

The girl acquires a serger, and immediately starts breaking all of the rules to gorgeous, suspicion-inducing results like this (surely if one were not possessed by evil, creativity-breeding spirits, one would start with a simple t-shirt, no?): 

And only  a mad, devil-possessed genius could come up with this wonderful skirt detail, right??

3) The most incontrovertible evidence that Lauriana is extremely dangerous and powerful: she has mastered the print in the most maddening and enemy-making way imaginable.  While the Selfish Seamstress bites her nails at the sight of a print, wondering whether it will make her look frumpy or cutesy or crazy or quilty or homemade, Lauriana stares it down and beats it into submission. Even the biggest, boldest prints become serious, elegant fashion under her needle:

4) Finally, as if she hadn’t already bewitched us all with her abilities and aesthetics, I find myself completely consumed by envy because the work of this frighteningly talented home sewer is clearly runway ready. Surely any of these garments is worthy of showing at New York’s Fashion week, and any woman in her right mind would happily sell her OWN soul to have these hanging in her closet:

[Note to my newest nemesis: I will maybe possibly perhaps consider switching to the dark side in exchange for the pattern for that grey dress!]

There you have it.  The evidence of demon-induced genius is undeniable. There is no telling how much Lauriana is capable of, and she is a most powerful force in the sewing blogosphere. For further evidence of her powers of the occult, visit her blog, Petit Main Sauvage.  But tread very very carefully because you are likely to fall under her spell.

Burda 1.2009 skirt done… and possibly unflattering.

Well, skirt 112 from Burda 1.2009 is done.  I took it apart a number of times to do some tweaks and did a full lining on it.  I also made a matching belt with a little bow in front that I can use until I get a proper brown belt to match. The strange thing is that when I look in the mirror, I think this skirt is very cute and flattering.  In the photos, however, it’s just not working.  I’m not sure what to believe.

It does go awfully well with the Sweet Pota-toe shoes though :)

Burda 3.2010 preview update

Thanks to Melissa for letting me know that the Russian Burda site has the entire March preview available for viewing. (I can’t wrap my head around how the various language sites have such varied content. What exactly are the good folks at Burda Russia doing that they can get everything out there so promptly?  Wouldn’t you think the Germans would have all the content first?  Anyway, go Russia- keep it up!)

So, if you were disappointed by yesterday’s limited sneak preview, the good news is that there are some nice options in March. This wrap shirt looks chic and practical:

(Fortunately the Selfish Seamstress knows a little Russian and is able to read the image titles, so she knows for sure that the garment featured is the shirt and not the spandex pants! Boo for spandex pants!)

This pencil skirt is cute and it shows up in a few variations, but the pockets on this one look particularly promising:

But most of all, I am coveting this adorable strapless sundress.  It looks like a simple enough dress, and I think it’s really that cute pink floral print that’s getting me. I don’t generally think of myself as a pink floral type, but this is just too adorable, and the lines of the dress keep it sophisticated rather than frou-frou-tutu. (Amber, are you there? And if so, are you drooling over this dress? I thought you might be.) 

As for the Plusmode dress and coat combo that I was giddy about from yesterday’s preview, it turns out that the dress is indeed beautiful.  I do wish, however, that they hadn’t put the model in such unflattering shapewear. She’s gorgeous with a gorgeous figure and I fully understand the benefits of shapewear under formal dresses, but whatever contraption she’s got under the dress is not doing good things.

The same dress in a longer version either with a different undergarment or else photographed in such a way that the undergarment is not doing horrible binding things to the model is just stunning (and the dude’s pants fit this time):

And finally, since you were wondering, the shrest makes not one but TWO appearances in the March issue.  They loved it so much that they made it in two variations.  Because apparently some people want to wear it with a wedding gown.  

This throws a bit of a stick into the Selfish Seamstress’s wedding guest plans.  So many people have invited her to their weddings under the condition that she wear a shrest. But should she wear a shrest if the bride herself might be wearing one?  Seems a bit gauche.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the shrest is NOT the single most ridiculous thing in the March issue.  This is:

And yes, I will wear this WITH the navy leopard print shrest to your wedding IF you let me have two slices of cake AND make me maid of honor AND let me pick my favorite of all of your wedding presents to keep for myself.  And that includes the checks, for those of you with wealthy aunts and uncles. Cheetah print harem pant jumpsuits don’t come for free, you know. Neither does the Selfish Seamstress’s dignity.

Progress report: Burda 1-2009-112 high waisted pencil skirt

Well, I have to say, yesterday was a pretty good day.  Not only did I get invited to about a half dozen weddings on the condition that I wear some ridiculous combination of Burda 3.2010 garments, but I also got started on the stupid easy high waisted skirt from Burda 1.2009, model 112, using some of the sweet potato plaid Banana Republic wool I picked up at Paron for a song during my holiday fabric binge. (Please parse that last bit as “holiday-pause-fabric binge” rather than “holiday fabric-pause-binge.”  The Selfish Seamstress does not do holiday fabric, thank you very much.) It doesn’t look like much now, but the test fittings are promising.  And yes, I think I’m probably the only person who is still stuck on autumn clothes while everyone else plans their new spring dresses. I need to remove a pinch at the bottom of the corset-y midriff bit because it’s creating some extra folds of fabric over the belly.

Here’s the technical drawing:

More exciting than the skirt itself, however, is the fact that the tan, dark brown, and orange skirt seems to go with almost every pair of shoes I own. How neat is that?

Goody. I hate when I make something and then find I never wear it because I don’t have the shoes to go with it. Since people will undoubtedly ask, the shoes, clockwise from the left are:

1) Espresso brown Prada T-straps with huge chunky heels (picked up for $35 at a DSW sale!)

2) Nine West brown heeled platform oxfords

3) Michael by Michael Kors tan suede Mary Janes with huge triangular heels (another $35 bargain at Nordstrom Rack, mecca for size 4.5 and 5!)

4) Sweet Pota-toe loafers from ModCloth, with huge not-quite wedge heels (anyone starting to see the trend here?)

5) Antiqued brown Max Studio Mary Janes with the same not-quite-wedge heels (another steal at Loehmann’s)

How about you? What’s your favorite handmade garment and accessory combo?

Burda 3.2010 sneak peek

If it’s March, that must mean it’s time for Burda girls to start making their wedding dresses! That’s right, ladies, if you haven’t got a wedding planned for June, you’d better go out and find yourself a fiance now because the bridal patterns are on their way, as shown in the new Burda March 2010 preview! Just don’t do anything that seems okay in concept but in real life looks like you decided to embellish your dress with the party favors:

For the sake of full disclosure, despite being a die hard Burda girl (well, except for these last few months in which I have allowed my subscription to lapse) I don’t have a wedding coming up in June. Which means that I am approaching their March wedding feature with with an eye for what can be rendered in other colors and shorter lengths to make for pretty stuff I can use.  The organza craziness above is not fitting that criteria, but how about this pretty one?

I like the lace sleeves on that one and I’m imagining it in midnight blue. Now I just have to get *invited* to some weddings so I’ll have somewhere to wear it.  Who’s getting married?  Who wants the Selfish Seamstress at her wedding?  [I have to warn you, I heckle. AND I need two slices of cake. Unless the cake is bad in which case I'll heckle more. And when people say, "The greatest gift you can give us is your presence at our wedding," I take that statement very seriously. I definitely wouldn't want to disappoint you by giving you something inferior off of your Williams-Sonoma registry when you could have my presence.]

As for the regular clothes, again, nothing jumping at out at me in this issue, but it’s still the limited preview for now. I’m sort of keen on seeing this light coat, and wish the photo showed off its form better:

 

It has a charming, sunny Doris Day appeal to it, not unlike the Selfish Seamstress herself. Other than that, there are some not-so-interesting garments that I’m not picturing here, so that I can dedicate more space to a couple of  WTF garments:

Ohhhh I hope the pattern is for the basic and practical straight skirt because I don’t understand what’s going on on top there and I suspect I would not like it better were it not completely obscured by the rose bouquet. Because I don’t want to think about what’s happening if Burda is venturing into the “shoulderless cape” territory.  If they do it once, they will do it several times in the months to come. Actually, if you invite me to your wedding, I will come wearing this exact outfit. Come on, isn’t that worth an invite??? Plus I’m a crazy lady on the dance floor. 

However, no amount of cake and wheedling could get me into this:

Sweet jeebus WHAT IS THAT? Is it a shrug?  Is it a vest? For convenience’s sake, we will call it a “shrest.”  That stand collar is taking it over the edge.  Or maybe the navy leopard print is taking it over the edge. Or the double pleat chinos she’s wearing with it. The edge is now so far behind it, it’s impossible to say what exactly pushed it.

I actually don’t hate this outfit.  I just hate this photo because I get the feeling that the model has dirty socks and empty cracker boxes all over the room and I would really like her to tell her that SHOES DO NOT BELONG ON THE BED. And mostly this photo upsets me because when I look at it I become my mom and that scares me a little.

As is often the case, the best outfit in Burda is one of the Plusmode numbers. Granted, I’m not so much into sewing formalwear, but isn’t this ensemble lovely:

Look at the portrait collar on that coat!  The 3/4 bell sleeves! I’m imagining what the draping on the bodice looks like and in my head, it’s very very good. Doesn’t hurt that it’s paired with the bag and the shoes, a cart full of Louis Vuitton suitcases and that guy. I may have to try drafting this in my size.

Now I know you’re all waiting with baited breath for me to start ripping on the crafts, but….

They’re pretty unobjectionable.  I mean, I guess the idea of putting a lone Easter egg in a bell jar is a little wacky, but other than that…. sunny painted eggs and bunny cutouts aren’t much for me to work with here. I’m starting to wonder if maybe they sacked the previous crafts editor?

Oh no wait, sorry, I found her. She just switched departments and is now doing the oh-so-superfluous feature on clothing embellishment:

Egad. This crafty clothing section is rapidly becoming my least favorite feature in Burda, the part where they hot glue random bits of lace and feathers and chiffon on unsuspecting, otherwise innocuous pieces of clothing. The first one is an exercise in couching which I guess is intended to cash in on the current marching band jacket trend in a very low rent way? And the second one is um. There are no words.

And that’s this month’s Burda forecast. I’ll be waiting eagerly by my mailbox for your wedding invite, hand hemming my shoulderless cape!

Holy fecking shet! I made my own fecking jeans!

[Note: The Selfish Seamstress is overflowing with joy and expletives at this latest sewing coup. At the same time, she realizes that much of her readership consists of gentlewomen of refined breeding whose delicate sensibilities may be offended by profanity. She is therefore censoring the naughty words in this post by replacing all of the vowels in them with "e."]

Holy fecking shet, betches, the Selfish Seamstress made her some jeans and they are the fecking bomb! Check these badess feckers out:

Oh yes, these are my new jeans made from the famous Jalie 2908 pattern, low rise version. I realize that I am totally the last betch on the Jalie 2908 bandwagon, but I don’t give a shet. I am as proud of these jeans as if I had drafted the fecking pattern myself. They weren’t even meant to be production level, they were meant to be a muslin. But I am totally wearing this betch. I want to wear them every fecking day. This may be the greatest sewing coup of my entire sewing career, because I have *never* had jeans that fit the way I want them to. You see, in addition to being very short, I am also long waisted, which means my inseam is *extremely* short.  It’s pretty much impossible for me to find jeans that aren’t huge through the thigh and knee, and when I can find ones that fit in those areas, they’re literally 6-8″ too long. And hemming isn’t a great option because the knee is still in the wrong place.  When I can find a jean that fits, it’s usually pretty shapeless and nondescript. And in case you were thinking it, kids jeans don’t work either.  While they’re the right fit in the thigh and inseam, kids jeans are cut for kids with flat kiddie butts and the Selfish Seamstress, despite having a kiddie inseam, has a grown up butt. Fecked up, right?

I picked the smallest adult size for the Jalie jeans (size R).  The measurements looked a little bit big, but I didn’t want to go down to one of the kid sizes because I think the proportions for the kids version are different.  As many have noted, this pattern has a tendency to gape in the back, so I ended up compensating for that by taking some off of the back yoke piece at the side seams. Other than that, I shortened through the thigh by one inch.  I figured that would put the knee in the right place and then any additional shortening could happen at the hem. But I don’t know what kind of weird-ess traveling pants shet that pattern has going on, but mysteriously the length turned out perfect for me- I didn’t have to take any off the hem. How is that even possible?  Feck that, I’m not going to look that gift horse in the mouth. The only really significant edit I had to make was to take the legs in at both the inseam and outseam to make them slimmer as they were baggy through the leg.  I started taking in gradually from the hip and ended up removing about 1″ from the circumference at the knee, and then tapered back down to the leg opening. Oh yeah, and I added a coin pocket and rivets. And now they are just right- the jeans I have always wished I could find in a store! 

I cut the waistband on the crossgrain for a couple of reasons.  First I had read that cutting it on the bias (as the pattern recommends) results in too much stretching.  Second, I thought that the fabric I ordered was 60″, but it must have actually been 45″ or 50″ because it turned out that I was only able to fit all the pattern pieces in though a very economic layout, which left only enough fabric for me to cut the waistband on the cross grain.  It’s therefore a little more stretchy and less stable than I’d like. But next time I’m going to make sure I have enough fabric to cut it lengthwise, and you can bet your fecking ess that I’m going to be making these betches again and again. Feck yeah.

A jewel amid the frump

Back issues of BurdaMag are like favorite songs to me. I take them out and flip through them over and over and never get tired of them even though I know them by heart. Or at least, I thought I knew them by heart.

The first issue of Burda I ever purchased was the February 2007 issue. I was living in Germany and had just discovered Burda through a friend after she told me that she had made the gorgeous red coat she was wearing. That was the point at which I decided it was time to learn to sew for real, rather than just doing crafty stitching projects and taking the occasional stab at a dress every couple of years. I promptly went out and bought myself a Burda and to this day I’m still more comfortable with German sewing terminology than English. Anyway, I pored and pored over that issue even though as far as Burda issues goes, it’s not the greatest.

The other night, I pulled it out, dog-eared and worn, and flipped through it again. One of my least favorite features was this blue-themed one. Something about it is very 1995. Even though some of the individual pieces are not objectionable, it’s somehow entirely lacking in chic or edge, the wardrobe of a woman who cares how she looks and tries to look pretty but doesn’t have much sense of style. The whole color scheme (and don’t get me wrong, blue is my favorite color), assembly of outfits, everything is sort of blah like the 80% off clearance rack at Marshall’s:

 

 

 

You can probably see that some of the pieces aren’t bad.  That first suit jacket would be nice if the lapels were edited to be a little less Easter suit-y. The blazer in the middle might be a practical piece if not rendered in a fabric that attempts to mimic patchwork AND denim simultaneously (yikes!). The little short sleeved blouse is cute and versatile. But altogether, this feature always felt so lackluster and un-stylish and unexciting that I was never remotely tempted to make any of these pieces.  And then the other night, I had a closer look at this and my eyes bugged out:

And just like you sometimes find something utterly amazing on the 80% of clearance rack at Marshalls, so it was with me and this jacket. Never mind that it’s rendered in a fabric that looks like fancy rental tablecloths from a catered function, or that it is paired with wallpaper themed pants, and accessorized with a very unfortunate bag that is somewhat reminiscent of a butt in jeans. Have a look at this technical drawing:

Awesome, yes?  It reminds me of my beloved BurdaStyle Hikaru jacket, but with a shorter, sleeker fit:

Anyway, this hidden gem from my very first issue of BurdaMag might just have to go on my list, three years after the fact. I’ve got a black satin-faced wool jacket fabric that would be great for this pattern. Who knew that it was hiding amidst all that frump the whole time?

A Selfish Seamstress haiku

If I’m so selfish Then why is it always YOU Asking ME for stuff?

Selfish Seamstress learns her lesson: The “no reason” present (and a poll!)

Yesterday, I alluded to a possible weekend sewing failure about which I need to come clean. Fortunately after writing a vituperative post about new nemesis Yoshimi, I’m feeling a a little better.

A few weeks ago, I decided I’d make Dan a “no reason” present. The “no reason” present is the nicest kind- no obligation, no occasion, no expectation, just a present for “no reason.” I bought the Jason vest pattern from BurdaStyle (there weren’t any projects made from it posted at the time so I was just going off of BurdaStyle’s picture) and started working on it in secret. First I’d whip it out whenever Dan went off on one of his crazy triathlon workouts, get a little bit done here, sew a seam there. Given my general lack of enthusiasm for sewing for non-me people, it was pretty slow going. Eventually I realized that Dan’s awareness of what I’m currently sewing is pretty low so I even started working on it in front of him. He had no idea. When I finally presented it to him on Saturday evening, he said, “A vest?  It looks nice.  Try it on.” Then his eyes sort of lit up as he realized it was for him.

Now before I show you the monstrosity that I created, let me explain what I was going for. I was aiming for the sleek menswear vest that I often see in the windows of Express Men, sleek and slim and done up in a rather dressy suiting with welt pockets, worn over a slim white shirt with dark washed jeans. Dan and I have admired such a vest many times and thought it’d be a great addition to his wardrobe.

Dan is a pretty stylish guy- I never have to convince him that the slimmer cut is better than the baggy one, or that pink isn’t just for girls. He’s pretty adventurous and he’ll also happily wear almost anything that I recommend and makes daring choices for himself too. Beyond that, he has the exact 5′11″ tapered athletic physique that manufacturers design for. If he were made of plastic and lacked sentience, nipples, and a head, he would be a Banana Republic mannequin. In short, pretty much anything looks good on him.  Except for the “no reason” present:

Arggh. I should have known better than to make this without fitting it on him first.  But I wanted it to be a “no reason” SURPRISE. So now it’s a surprise, but a really crappy one. It’s not chic and edgy and sophisticated. At best it’s Ferris Bueller, and at worst it’s Ben from Growing Pains in the later years of the show when they all thought everyone should wear a vest or blazer all the time. It’s not sleek, it’s not fitted, it definitely can’t be worn over a dress shirt. It’s way too short (the back is REALLY short). I made this in his normal Burda size according to his measurements (which always fits him perfectly because everything always fits his mannequin body perfectly with the exception of needing an extra inch of length on sleeves) but I should have realized that BurdaStyle patterns are not the same as Burda patterns. They’re drafted and produced by an entirely different team. And the Jason vest was apparently drafted to fit a barrel, a fact which becomes even more obvious when the vest is pinned closed (didn’t put buttons on it yet.) He could smuggle cats in all the extra room inside this vest.

Dan is so happy about the “no reason” present that he is adamant he can make it work, but I can’t let him out of the house looking like this. First lesson: better to make unsurprising present that involves a muslin than make crappy present that is a surprise. Second lesson: I don’t sew for non-me people.  Why did I decide to make a present for Dan when I could have been sewing for myself?  ”No reason.”

Now what?

 

Selfish Seamstress Nemesis: Yoshimi

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning after a possible sewing failure last night (more on that later) and now I’m feeling the need to take it out on someone. A new nemesis.

Enter Yoshimi, a.k.a. “Flying Squirrel Nemesis,” a.k.a. “Elegant Nemesis.” Some of you may know Yoshimi from her blog, and may be saying to yourself right now, “How can Yoshimi be your nemesis?  She seems so sweet!” The operative word here is “seems.”  The Selfish Seamstress also thought Yoshimi was sweet, until Yoshimi launched a full scale attack on the Selfish Seamstress from all angles.  Look at some of the unprovoked and insulting comments Yoshimi has made about the Selfish Seamstress:

On BurdaStyle:

“Very elegant, you look beautiful in it.”

On Pattern Review:

“Gorgeous jacket. It’s very nice on you.”

And Yoshimi has even left abusive comments on the Selfish Seamstress’s very own blog, like this:

“Every one of your posts makes me smile.”

Obviously, Yoshimi is looking for a fight. She is out to terrorize, and the Selfish Seamstress cannot condone cyber-bullying unless she is the one doing the bullying. Therefore Yoshimi has been upgraded to Selfish Seamstress Nemesis status, and it’s time to give her a taste of her own medicine.

1) First off, Yoshimi is not to be trusted.  For example, she states on her blog that she has trouble making pants that fit.  Well if that’s true, how do you explain THESE?

and THESE??

Seriously, are there any of you out there who wouldn’t consider giving away half of your stash if it meant you could get a fit like that on your pants?

2) Yoshimi’s sense of style is so impeccable it’s like she’s TRYING to breed resentment. Can she go Jackie Kennedy elegant?  Yes.  Can she wear what the 19-year olds who work at Armani Exchange wear and look great in it?  Yes. Can she make clothes in all of these styles such that the look like they came straight from a boutique and not from a home sewing machine? ARGH, YES. 

 

Extra bonus nemesis points: the ability to photograph her outfits in a way that puts the J.Crew and Banana Republic catalogues to shame. Seriously, did anyone else forget that they were looking at home-sewn garments while going through these photos and start looking for the “Add to my Cart” button?  No “sorry-this-looks-like-crap-I-took-this-at-night-with-flash-while-standing-in-my-messy-sewing-room” photos from this nemesis!

3) Yoshimi commits the greatest sin of all in the Selfish Seamstress’s book: sewing for others. Now, I know that a lot of people sew for others. But Yoshimi sews for others so beautifully that it almost (almost!) makes the Selfish Seamstress wish she could sew for others. Since when has the Selfish Seamstress ever envied someone’s ability to do something for others?? Yoshimi puts terrible, terrible thoughts into my head! But can you blame me? Have a look at these two shirts she made for her husband:

I can’t even stand to look at these masterpieces of workmanship, they tear me up so inside.

4) Finally, the thing that will push you over the edge with rage directed at Yoshimi: her shoe wardrobe. Oh yes, scroll back up and look through those pictures. As if it weren’t enough that she’s made herself a closet full of beautiful, graceful clothing, this nemesis has also has amassed a shoe collection clearly intended to breed spite and jealousy. Sure, her blog is about sewing, but she sneaks those shoes in there just to provoke your ire.

Well done, Yoshimi.  You are a formidable nemesis.  But if I were you, I would sleep with one eye open. Everyone else- march on over to Yoshimi the Flying Squirrel for more fodder for discord and more reasons to envy! Go forth and avenge!

[Not angry enough yet?  Check here for more nemeses!]

Free pattern: Ballet skirt for grownups

[Note: The weather here just keeps getting colder and colder, and yet my outdoor photo shoot outfits keep getting skimpier and skimpier!]

The Selfish Seamstress has been described as “nitpicky,” so as you can imagine, ballet suits her just fine as a hobby.  She is therefore also very picky about her ballet skirts. If you have a perfect ballet body with perfectly long toothpicky ballet legs, you can get away with wearing just about anything to class. The Selfish Seamstress, however, has the short, squat muscular legs of a gynmast and therefore has experimented quite a bit to get the right flattering grown-up skirt for ballet class (for stage, anything goes.)

A ballet skirt for grown-ups can’t be too long – once it starts approaching knee length it it cuts the leg line making you look shorter and prevents the teacher from seeing what you’re doing with your turnout.  Also, the privilege of wearing a long skirt is often reserved for the teacher herself.  Unlike a ballet skirt for little kids, it can’t be ruffly or gathered or elastic waist.  For the Selfish Seamstress, the classic ballet wrap skirt is the only option she’ll consider. And it has to have minimal flare, again to lengthen the lines. So basically it has to be clean and simple and all business, but still pretty and elegant.  I’m even skeptical of the floral pattern I used in the skirt pictured above and would much have preferred solid black, but that’s all I had in my stash as I’m not much of a chiffon stasher.

A ballet skirt is just about one of the easiest things you can make (provided you can bear to work with sheers) – one piece and some ribbon and that’s just about it.  Nice since they usually run about $25 in a dance store (and never fit and hang the way I want them to!) If you’re going to make one for yourself or for the special dancer in your life (sigh, because some people will never learn), take my advice: polyester. Ballet clothes may look all dainty and delicate, but they are hardcore athletic gear that have to stand up to the rigors of ballet class, which means sweat and a lot of movement.  And it’ll be balled up in a ballet bag afterwards with dirty dance shoes and other sweaty clothes, so you want to be able to toss it into the machine or at least do a vigorous hand wash. Silk is a not a good idea.

The pattern for my simple ballet skirt for grown ups is available on my downloads page.  It’s tapered to be slightly longer in the back than in the front. It should fit most people, but ballet large is not the same as regular people large so I’ve specified it for XS-M to be on the safe side.  If you’re not sure, you can add a few inches through the center and it’ll just wrap a little more. So, here you go, dancers and people who sew for dancers – a pattern the perfect ballet skirt for grown-ups.  At least according to the Selfish Seamstress’s nitpicky standards.

P.S. Sigh. Since you asked, yes, you could make this for kids and teens too.

Recycling is chic, the Selfish Seamstress is famous!

Okay, not really famous.  But!  My pattern for the Coffee Date Dress (available for free download)  is featured in Kate MacKay and Di Jennings’s new book on DIY fashion, Recycling is Chic! This wonderful project from Alchemy Arts offers lots of great projects for reusing materials to create really beautiful garments, and Di Jennings’s photography is lovely:

Doesn’t that illustrated dress have you reaching for your Sharpie right now? That hula costume is made of shredded grocery bags!

I have to say, I love the concept of the book.  The Selfish Seamstress is a big fan of reusing and reappropriating materials, and this book does that with great results. The following image is not from the book, but did you know that the Selfish Seamstress does some of her very best work in bubble wrap?

Hahaha. Ok.  It’s not exactly up to the authors’ standards for chic. I guess that’s why they are the authors of a book about DIY fashion and I am not! :)

I should be getting a copy of the book from the publisher soon, but I just had to share it now because it looks so pretty! Want your own?  Get it here!

Forever 33

Many a hobby seamstress, me included, takes advantage of her skill to knock off something she covets but cannot afford. Currently this is not easy for me; it takes quite a lot of effort and trial and error, and the replica always ends up somewhat approximate, which is usually fine.  But it’s skill that I would like to become very good at because it’s something of a sewing superhero skill in my opinion, to be able to see something you want and then really just “make your own” like it’s no big deal. [Aside: Anyone who has just started to sew will find that when she tells her friends about her new hobby, they will immediately begin gathering up photos of designer clothes and asking if she can make this for them.  The answer should always be NO. Trust me on this one.  Unless you can make it look exactly like the Dior she wants, you're setting yourself up for a situation in which you hand the garment to your friend and you see her face fall in disappointment for a second before she brightly says, "Thank you!"]

In an interesting turn of events, I happened upon a picture of this capelet/vest/jacket thing and now I think I’d like to make one. (I’ve cooled on the Burda cape idea, which I’m taking as an indication that I probably wouldn’t wear it much either if I were to make it.)

I don’t remember where I first saw the picture, but as it turns out, this rather sophisticated garment is from that beloved Jank Mecca for teenyboppers, Forever 21! Granted, F21 puts out some cute stuff (and why shouldn’t they considering that they themselves are knockoff experts?) but I don’t think of them as my go-to place for chic office separates. They’re out of my size online, but then again, I’m not sure if I’d buy it even if they did have my size- too hit or miss with the fabric and quality. And it looks like it could be an fun draft and good practice. So now I guess I’m into knocking off cheap stuff too? I’d like to say I’m taking a design I like and making a better quality version, but truth be told, I don’t think my workmanship is really any better than F21’s yet.  Those little kids are pretty handy with a sewing machine and I’m no couturier.

In keeping with the F21 theme, I’ve got a fabric which seems like the right color and drape but somehow looks cheaper than I want it to :)  This Vera Wang Lavender Label that I bought during one of the Fabric.com sales was described as a wool and nylon twill, which it is, but somehow I was thinking it would be of a pant or suit weight when I ordered it. In actuality it’s somewhat spongier and fluffier, better for a light jacket, weird for pants.  And somehow the 20% nylon component is very noticeable- a plasticky sparkle like that of carpet or acrylic yarn. Hard to tell from the photo they had on the website:

In any case, it’s the only thing in my stash that is really suitable, and I don’t expect this will be a garment I’ll wear every day, so it’s not really worth buying any more fabric for it.

So, it’s come to this. The Selfish Seamstress is making knockoffs of cheap mall store garments. Wish me luck!

Selfish Seamstress Nemesis: Peter in NYC

Readers, as you may know, the Selfish Seamstress does not contribute to the lovey-dovey feel-good world of sewing blogs. She feeds on strife and animosity and is therefore pleased to bring you a new recurring feature called “Selfish Seamstress Nemesis,” in which she will rip apart and humiliate other sewers and sewing bloggers out of spite and envy. Up first: Peter in NYC, a.k.a. “Advanced Beginner Nemesis,” a.k.a. “Guy Nemesis.”

Many of you may know Peter in NYC from Pattern Review. He has recently started a hilarious blog of his own, which the Selfish Seamstress can only interpret as a hostile and aggressive tactic directed squarely at her. Why she interprets it this way, she can’t really say. Mostly she just needs an excuse to rail on Peter in a public forum. So here are some of the reasons why I have decided to upgrade Peter in NYC from mere Fellow Sewer to Selfish Seamstress Nemesis:

1) Peter in NYC started sewing a paltry six months ago and yet his workmanship and precision are already outstanding. That jerk. A mere three months into his new hobby, he up and made this:

Yes.  That is a lined jacket.  With collar and welt pockets.  ARGH.  How long did it take the Selfish Seamstress before she even worked up the nerve to try a buttonhole! Wipe that smug grin off your face, Peter.

2) As far as I can tell, Peter in NYC never spends more than pocket change on fabric and yet his clothes never have that crafty made-it-myself-out-of-old-quilts look.  He relies on old bedsheets, and sometimes even fabric he finds in the trash (apparently in his neighborhood, entire bolts of silk knit count as trash), with an occasional splurge at the $2/yard section of actual fabric stores. And still, the results are envy-inducing and fantastic. ARGH! Check out this bedsheet number:

Why is it that if I make something from bedsheet it looks like something from Mama’s Family, whereas Peter’s shirt probably has hipster kids begging to buy it off of him as he walks down the street?

3) Apparently a couple of months of sewing experience is enough for perfect plaid alignment if you’re fancy schmancy smarty pants Peter:

And as if that weren’t enough, should I mention as well that he’s a topstitching fiend?

4) Finally, as if all this technical skill weren’t enough, I should also mention that the man can design womenswear. His enviably long-legged “identical cousin Cathy” is the frequent model of his gorgeously chic creations, as featured in stunning and artistic photo shoots.  What seamstress in her right mind wouldn’t snap up this pattern if McCall’s put it out?

Peter in NYC had better watch his back; the Selfish Seamstress is not someone you want as your enemy. For more reasons to despise and envy him, check out his riotously funny new blog, Male Pattern Boldness. Leave nasty comments on it and tell him the Selfish Seamstress sent you! Mwahaha!

[Think YOU should be a Selfish Seamstress nemesis?  Let me know!  I'll fight with you too.  I'll fight with ALL of you!]