The Selfish Seamstress loves to read other people’s sewing blogs. She does this mainly in hopes of finding mentions of herself. (Secondary reason: So she can steal your ideas.) Recently she has noticed some bloggers making comments somewhat along the lines of, “I wish I could be more like the Selfish Seamstress!” How tremendously flattering! Are they jealous of my long flowing hair? My remarkable intelligence? My keen sense of style? My intermediate sewing skills? My adorable tuxedo cat? Then it dawned on me:
People admire my outstanding ability to tell friends, family, and colleagues to bite me and die when they ask me to make them stuff.
Well, I can’t blame you. It’s quite the black art, and you can’t just develop these skills overnight, especially if you’ve spent years generously giving of your time and effort sewing stuff that leaves your hands never to return again. (Of course, the Selfish Seamstress was born without a capacity for generosity and compassion, and thus has quite the head start). If you’ve been sewing for others for a long time, it can be as hard to turn your back on unselfish seamstressing as it is to quit carbs. Because much like French fries and cookies, blood-sucking vultures are ubiquitous and hard to say no to. They often operate under innocuous-sounding code names like, “best friend,” and “granddaughter” to trick you into doing stuff for them.
As with many bad habits, quitting cold turkey often leads to relapse. An alternate plan of action may be a gentle ramping down by prioritizing which unselfish sewing projects are the biggest waste of your time and cutting those out first. To help you out with this, I offer a handy set of general guidelines for those just getting started with Selfish Seamstressing:
The Selfish Seamstress’s Handy Beginnner’s Guide to Sewing for Others
Costumes for kids:
Rating: :(
Kids vary in the amount of gratitude they feel or express when you make them a present. They may be thankful or not, but by and large they are not going to feel indebted. Many of them live in a dreamworld in which people give them stuff just because they’re kids. This attitude buys you NOTHING. On the other hand, if you’re going to make something for someone, it may as well be something that they really want and really get excited about, rather than something that’s going to hang unworn in a closet gathering dust and breeding resentment (on your part), so costumes are a good way to go. Plus, kids’ costumes are generally low-effort and use low-cost fabric (because why would you knock yourself out for something the kid will wear a couple of times and then promptly outgrow?) which means more time and money left for you to make something nice for yourself.
Mending and alteration:
Rating: :( :(
Yuck. If ever there was a thankless job, it’s getting other people’s clothes to fit them. It’s boring. It’s uncreative. People think it’s no big deal since, after all, you just love sewing, right? The only good thing that can really be said about mending and altering stuff for other people is that it often is a fairly quick job. Hemming a pair of pants takes a relatively short amount of time compared to, say, making six bridesmaids dresses in different sizes for your friend’s niece’s wedding. The big con though: If you do it once, people will have no problem asking you do to it again. Hemming the pants quickly, but then not returning them for a couple of weeks because you’re “still working on them” may help prevent future requests.
Home decor sewing:
Rating: :( :(
I have to admit that I’m biased about this one because I find home dec sewing to be dull dull dull. Mmmm…. sewing endless straight lines on heavy fabric. Just thinking about it bores me to the point that it makes quilting sound fun. (Haha, sorry quilters!) The upside of this one is that home dec sewing is the type of unselfish sewing for which you are most likely to get paid. For some reason, people seem to think that making window treatments is a real job that warrants compensation, while fixing a torn skirt or sewing a dress from scratch is just a nice gesture from a buddy. All I can say is, if you must do it, milk it for all it’s worth and don’t fall asleep at the machine during one of those 72″ hems.
Clothing for men:
Rating: :( :( :(
Men are not unlike kids in that their degree of receptiveness and gratitude varies. From a technical standpoint, men’s clothing is the worst unselfish sewing you can undertake because it’s often so labor intensive. Men’s clothing is detailed, with cuffs, plackets, collars, welt pockets, lapels, etc. – all the good things you love to sew for yourself, for SOMEONE ELSE. It takes a long time and it can be fiddly. A lot of men also prefer clothing that is uncreative- often the kind of handmade clothing they would be happiest receiving is the kind that looks like it came from the Gap. Tiny unique touches and details may just be the thing that makes a guy say, “That’s not really my style,” and relegate the garment to the back of the closet. And, as everyone knows, resentment varies in proportion to the amount of work put into an unworn garment. The more work you put in, the more you despise the recipient for not wearing it!
Clothing for women:
Rating: :( :( to :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Although sewing clothes for women could be relatively painless (a simple knit top with four pieces for your grandmother who loves it because you made it and wears it every time she sees you), it could go horribly, horribly awry. You haven’t truly felt rage boiling in your veins until you stand in front of the mirror while the recipient tries on your hours and hours of labor and says, “It’s really nice. Ummmmm, I’m just curious, but if you wanted to, could you make the bodice spaghetti strap instead of short-sleeved? Not that it’s not totally fine like this, I’m just curious. Also, do you think maybe it should be a little shorter? And do you think we should have gone with that other red fabric instead?” Is your temperature rising yet? Mine is just typing this :)
This list is not comprehensive, nor is it without its exceptions to the rules, but it should provide a decent jumping off point for those looking to build up their Selfish skills. How about you? Have you got any tips for S.W.A.G. sewing to avoid?
The Selfish Seamstress 
55 comments
Comments feed for this article
December 23, 2009 at 12:07 am
Mae
I only read this post because I am addicted to your blog. I am no beginner at selfish sewing! When my daughter was competing in horse shows, I made beautiful waistcoats for her to wear under her riding jacket because it pleased me to see her looking fabulous in the ring, and beautiful waistcoats are very hard to find. Of course, everyone started asking me to make their daughter a waistcoat. I said I would be happy to oblige, and the waistcoat would only cost $350.00. Nobody accepted my offer :-) I am happy to help my friends with mending and alterations but I charge $90.00 an hour, the same as in my regular job (weekend/night rate because this is when I sew). So far, no takers.
December 23, 2009 at 3:53 am
Marie-Christine
Oh, cool links, thank you! You’re right, I’d never have found Teen Vogue in a million years. My favorite of the moment is the Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/craft unafortunately a bit craft- and Christmas heavy at the moment but has some nice features like how to make a beanbag chair. Not the greatest for actual sewing patterns, but an interesting source of inspiration from across the pond, easy to reproduce.
As to potential gift recipients (and I totally agree with your analysis of men) don’t forget to make sure you label your work even more profusely than if you were selling it – a pass through the washer with the sheets or the jeans can ruin anything even if they’re very grateful. That said, I hope you’re making progress on the velvet jacket, just so you can have it out of your hair :-).
December 23, 2009 at 6:00 am
Meredith P
Selfish Seamstress Tutorial = Priceless
December 23, 2009 at 6:31 am
Shannon
Hilarious! Most people are just self-entitled peckerheads that think their time is worth more than yours. Good for you, telling them to take a hike. I’m with you 100% sister!
December 23, 2009 at 6:48 am
Isabel
Love you! One day I will take your suggestions to heart, in the meanwhile I’ve got to go and finish a dress for my ungrateful daughter while the lovely wool I bought for myself starts collecting dust.
December 23, 2009 at 6:51 am
Sara
I love this post, and I love your blog! I’m still an intermediate-advanced beginner because I read and think about sewing more than I actually sit down to do it, but a friend who loves to cook has mentioned multiple times that we should “trade”– she’ll cook dinner for me and I’ll sew for her. Even a fancy dinner takes her three hours to make tops, maybe five with grocery shopping, whereas the work it would take to fit any piece of clothing to her (she’s 7 inches shorter and a completely different body type from me) makes me exhausted and frustrated just thinking about it. Your post renewed my resolve to continue weaseling out of this so-called trade!
December 23, 2009 at 6:57 am
Nancy K
I pride myself in saying that I only sew for myself. I, under duress, have done hems for my dh, but that’s about it! I have never sewn for my son and I have made only a few garments and repairs for my dd. A jacket for her is sitting here unfinished and has for probably the last year. We are expecting our first grandchild. I already informed my son that I will not be sewing clothes for him. I might have been coerced if the child were a girl. Much cuter stuff.
I have been one of those people who have commented on peoples blogs when they’ve shown gifts they’ve made that my attitude is that of the Selfish Seamstress, which is probably why I get such a kick out of your blog. The honesty is certainly refreshing, as is your ability to say no; often a difficult concept for women, especially women of my generation.
Glad to see that you got to NY after all. I hope that you will post pictures of your acquisitions.
December 23, 2009 at 7:05 am
lin3arossa
Plus, many guys are kind of ashamed to wear something their wife or girlfriends have made, sewn or knit. Aske me how I know. I love sewing for my daughter. She’s not grateful for it or whatever, but she’s the best dressed at her daycare and I made sure ALL her caretakers there know I sew almost all her clothes. Some will say I’m selfish or vain, I think I’m just proud :D
December 23, 2009 at 7:37 am
Julie
Sewing for men may be the worst. They do ask for the most boring things and then reward you with a simple “thanks.” WTF?!! How about making dinner AND cleaning the kitchen to show your gratitude?!! My dh once asked me to make athletic mesh shorts. Are you kidding me? I could buy them for cheaper…which I did. He got 3 pairs last Christmas. Guess what he asked for this year…”could you make me some athletic shorts?” Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
December 23, 2009 at 7:43 am
Debbie Cook
“Bite me and die” … snort!!
I have sewn for other people, but that’s because 99.99% of the time *I* wanted to, not because they asked. As soon as they ask, all the fun goes right out of it. Right now I have my son’s girlfriend’s hoodie in a pile on my cutting table. She asked me a few days ago if I would patch the elbows. But the thing is, I’m working on something for ME right now so it’s just going to have to wait. And wait.
December 23, 2009 at 7:48 am
Kayy
You can turn sewing for kids into selfish sewing by using projects to try out different techniques that will translate nicely into clothes for yourself later. Because the projects are small, the shapes simple, and no one will notice imperfections, you can practice away and get double payback – new skills + praise for the Mom (“you made THAT??!! WOW””!”). Of course you mostly have to quit when they get big enough to choose their own clothes :(
December 23, 2009 at 8:34 am
Sarah
I love that you’re empowering those of us with skills to actually use those skills for ourselves!
I will admit to SWAG, but usually, I only accept projects from those who sing my praises (or regularly subsidize some form of fun – eating out, pedicures, plane fare, etc) – My biggest issue is more with knitting than sewing – and I learned after an albatross of a project to respond to requests with – “$25/hr, 6 hr minimum plus materials. ”
And what the frack is up with this idea that just because someone is approaching a milestone that I should feel compelled to make them something for it? I’d rather make myself a nice little something to wear and perhaps a dashing scarf…
December 23, 2009 at 8:38 am
Anna
I hemmed pants for a friend once and then, oopsie, inadvertently sewed up all the pockets too. What was I thinking?
December 23, 2009 at 9:05 am
amber
<3 I admit to quite a bit of SWAG sewing this year. However, they were gifts that I gave freely and happily. The problem was when someone thought that my giving a gift meant that I'd happily accept requested projects sans payment. Um, NO! I nipped that in the bud right quick tyvm. :)
December 23, 2009 at 9:34 am
Ellen
I love reading your blog, as I am an apprentice selfish seamstress! I’ve been sewing for over 35 years, and I’ve made so many more things for others than for myself. I do love sewing for little girls, so it was great that I had one, and she gushes appropriately. I’m a sucker for the gushing.
January 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm
jadedjulie
you sound so much like my neighbor and same name too, wierd…she needs to be more selfish.
December 23, 2009 at 9:46 am
San Antonio Sue
Yay, Selfish Sewing! I tell my friends they can’t afford me. I then tell them I sew every weekend and I have spare machines and a wonderful space big enough to accomodate several people working at the same time. I’ll even give them advice and liberal use of my collection of royal rippers. Somehow they never seem to take me up on it.
December 23, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Karen
I’m guilty, I admit it ! I’ve JUST finished sewing a jacket for my boyfriend. The tailored kind, with more work than I care to recall, and I can’t think of the last time I was so glad to be finished a project. I like sewing shirts for him – I don’t like myself in tailored stuff and the precision of shirts is sometimes a head-cleaner for me – but this was above and beyond.
But he’ll wear it. He liked the fabric. He picked out the lining color, the buttons, the thread color for buttonholes and topstitching, and he had to try it on every night, several times, for at least the last 2 weeks. He knows how much went into it, and how much time he missed seeing me because of it. So at least there will be much gratitude for this.
And now back to my regularly scheduled SEWING FOR ME.
December 23, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Myrna
I’ve sewn one bridesmaid dress for the MOH at my daughter’s wedding. It went exactly as you said. It was my only slip. Except when the kids were little – and only because I wanted to – I’ve never sewn for other people. Sewing is all about ME. Nice to have company.
– Myrna
December 23, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Robin
yes, yes. I know. i know.
*sigh*
I used to be more selfish and somehow I have slid down that slippery slope.
must. reform.
must.sew.for.self.
December 23, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Venus de Hilo
Yesterday I finished sewing curtains for my husband’s home office, which combines sewing for a guy with a home dec project. Not the most creative fun I’ve ever had, but I was able to call it a Christmas present which made the project much less grumble-making than it would have been in, say, July.
The fabric is gorgeous and my favorite colors (turquoise and lime); there was just enough left over for a cushion for his desk chair or a skirt for me.
I made the skirt.
December 23, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Richelle
I LOVE THIS BLOG!!!! I also agree with everything you say. I am constantly saying NO but it does not matter, they just keep asking! So I just keep saying NO! I have had to be just plain rude at times saying things like “I do not know how to sew for your body type” or “I only sew plus size; Your too thin.” This is only as a result of being asked by the same people over and over and over again. Of course, some people get pissed! I do not care, they can kick rocks!
Sometimes I am a little more polite and suggest that they take a sewing class to learn what I know, but that just backfires on me when they say “Oh yeah that is a great idea, why dont you teach me?”…Darn it!!! I just cannot win.
December 23, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Jenaveve
At first, I wouldn’t talk about my passion for sewing because the few times I did, it was like a red rag to a bull – absolutely EVERYBODY thinks it is an open invitation to make them stuff. “Oh good, you can make (insert garment type here) for me”. Yeah right… but this past year while I have been learning from a new teacher who also appreciates our selfish desires, I have learned to say nothing at all in response to people’s requests/statements (which generally earns me a glaring look but allows them a moment’s silence to realise that I’m not actually agreeing to their demands) or I’ll say “I’m only learning to make things for my own body shape” (I love the subtlety of this one because we’re all so different in shape and size, it works every time!)
Happy Holidays Ms. Seamstress!
December 23, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Karen
When I lived in my house and was only 3 miles from my sister, she thought I was her personal alteration service, and of course, she NEVER paid me or did anything in return for ME. I tried the “hold on to the hemmed pants for weeks” trick a couple of times, but she just kept coming.
Now that I live in an RV and am no where near her, she STILL tries to get me to sew for her. I like to sew, although I am mostly a quilter and crafter, but I still hate it when other people want me to make their stuff. I hate it even when someone wants to pick the fabric and the pattern and have me make a quilt for them. I have to like the feel of a fabric to be able to work with it. I want to have the creativity as well as the work to make something. And someone who does not sew doesn’t get it. Nor will they get a quilt from me unless I want to make it.
December 23, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Karen
I forgot to mention you’re blog is mentioned at http://www.fehrtrade.com. She’s an american sewer living in London.
December 23, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Tina W
I repaired a sweater for a very good friend once. I kept said sweater for approximately one year before returning it. Any time she’s mentioned sewing for her since I answer, “Well, I could probably do it, but you know what my turnover time is… .” That pretty much did the trick.
December 24, 2009 at 12:07 am
stitchywitch
I totally agree with you. I’m a pretty new seamstress, but I’ve knitted forever, and my husband is forever offering to his family members that I will make them something. I’m sorry, but no. It’s never happening, and if they get upset that’s not my fault. Also, since I started sewing his friends seem to think that I’m some sort of alteration service. Learn to sew on your own buttons – it’s not rocket science!
December 24, 2009 at 8:38 am
Trudy Callan
Great post! I sew some, and I mean “SOME” things for my children, but I mostly enjoy sewing for me because no one will complain and I enjoying wearing things I’ve made. That’s why I started sewing. I love what one of the commentors said, “You can’t afford me.” or “Sure. My rates are $90 an hour.” I’ve had to turn down so many requests to sew just this past month, an apron, a quilt, costumes! If I accepted, all I would ever do is sew for others. Then I would detest sewing. I once grudgingly accepted to hem some pants for my husband’s friend. It took me six months to get to it. I love sewing things for my 9 year old daughter, though, because she wears them proudly and often and beams and smiles and seems to really love when mommy makes her things. So for her, I will. But she has just learned to sew, and she is on her second skirt for herself.
Merry Christmas!
December 24, 2009 at 1:23 pm
JoanneM
I sew for myself and my daughters and I sew for them because they LOVE what I make for them and they wear the items-it would be different if their attitude was different. My husband and sons request nothing.
I have been bitten ,many years ago, sewing for friends. Never again. And when they ask me to alter an item I tell them about my favorite tailor in town.
Selfish is very fine!!!
December 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Melanie
I love, love, love this! I really only want to sew for myself, but generally have guilt because I think I should be doing for others. Well no more! You are my new inspiration for selfish sewing. Thank you!
December 25, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Laura
Hah! I will sew baby things, because I like to sew them, and because I use them as practice pieces. I will hem for my under five foot best friend, because she is so freaking grateful and she makes me tons of (non sewn) stuff. The last time my mom asked me to repair one of her horrible polyester housecoats, I did. with contrasting thread. Ooops. Otherwise, the sewing the knitting the quilting is all about me, baby.
December 26, 2009 at 6:16 am
ClaireOKC
This is absolutely hilarious….sewing for people for a business is completely different than sewing for “friends” or “family”…..as a matter of fact, I’ve found that sewing for F&F to be more rewarding after I have not done anything for them in a long, long while because my clients take up so much of my time. So recently when I finished my niece’s wedding ensemble, I think she was more thankful and grateful than any time in the past. Of course her mother was quick with the remarks from her friends exclaiming how lucky she was as all her friends’ daughters would be relegated to the stores and not only not get what they want, but usually at twice what they were thinking of paying!!!!
And you’re right…home dec is boring….boring….boring….1 straight line down and 999,999,999 to go!!!! Ick!
As far as men…well men are shaped differently than women….and it’s a woman’s body that I know how and have been trained to fit!!!
December 26, 2009 at 9:43 am
joannely
As a professional seamstress/pattern maker for 40 years I have to say I get up every morning happy to be making clothes or altering for others. There are very few people out in the world who can alter and make clothes that actually flatter their customer and make them feel better than when they entered the sewing room. My clients sing my praises so I have never advertised no matter what country I have lived in (3). I tell my clients that the good Lord didn’t give me the talents of singing and dancing but I did get an eye for good fit and design so I use it and share it and teach others to improve their vision and get bold with altering and thinking about grain and drag lines. My website has some of the challenges that walk through my front door along with 9 months of solid wedding gown altering.
I do agree that sewing for family gets you nothing but headaches so sewing for money is the best reward at $25-30 an hour.
http://www.itsmysite.com/joannely
December 26, 2009 at 5:15 pm
nessie
I read you for some time now, and I really LOLed to this article ! It’s just so true !
Being selfish myself, I though that trackbacking your post on my own blog would be an easy way to take a little of your fame (muahahah), and I’d like to ask you if I can publish a link to this article and a little french translation on my blog. The aim is to introduce your blog to french readers, and of course not to steal the article ;)
I hope it’s okay, I’ll wait for your answer !
Merry christmas :)
December 28, 2009 at 9:01 am
shona
I didn’t know I needed you until I just found you. Thank Heavens!
Please, I need to be reminded just about every week. When I was about 18 I did 12 bow ties and cummerbunds for a friends friends wedding. It started at 8 and the list kept growing as they added more grooms men. I was supposed to get paid, which I NEVER did. I am much better now, but still too much of a sucker.
Help help help!
January 3, 2010 at 9:00 am
Rachelle
I took pictures of some of my first spectacular sewing failures, and when someone asks me if I can make them something to wear, I smile and say
“Sure, look at these great things I made!”
I hand them the pictures and they get this uncomfortable, embarrassed look, which is my cue to follow up with “When do you want to go shopping for fabric – it shouldn’t cost more than $100.00, when you include thread and a zipper!”
Now, nobody asks me for anything except laundry bags, which I can make in 10 minutes out of junky stash fabric. Problem solved!
January 3, 2010 at 11:48 am
Christie
I only sew for people who will continue to love me even if they hate the results- my two daughters. Everyone else gets the same answer-“NO!”. It irks me that everyone thinks that, just because I sew, I must be dying to sew for THEM. I have been sewing for 30+years and have only veered off my selfish seamstress path a couple of times. Boy, was I sorry. Never again.
January 6, 2010 at 8:42 am
Selfish Seamstress shuts up and sews for once already geez « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] right, after weeks of me rambling on and on about books and fabric and my mom, rants on the undeserving, butcherings of a beautiful Japanese art form, I’m back home with Dan, my cat, and my dear, […]
January 6, 2010 at 12:22 pm
pascalenary
Adore this post (and your blog in general); it really made me laugh! You should write a book.
January 8, 2010 at 11:11 am
Recent links I enjoyed « Pascale’s Points
[…] in the 21st century, I’m continuously grateful that we can now do this kind of stuff for pure pleasure and not because we need to build our trousseaus or have limited other avenues to earn a […]
May 12, 2010 at 9:15 am
Selfish Seamstressing for experts: Another handy guide « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] working on your Selfish Seamstressing skills, you might like to refer to my handy guide “Selfish Seamstressing for Beginners,” which I put together a few months ago, which will help the novice avoid the most […]
May 12, 2010 at 10:46 am
juebejue
lol, this tutorial is awesome. I am just as selfish as you — i have successfully hinted at my best friends to “bugger off”. actually, i find that if i offer to teach them, instead of sewing for them, it is a lot better for my sanity — i feel less like a b, and they can still get something from me (well, you dont expect them to sew everything themselves, right? they get to do the boring stuff like cutting and tearing apart the seams! muahahhaaa), and if the garment doesnt work out, they have put in just as much time as i did, so i wont feel as “dissed” :)
same with mending stuff, I only do it if they are here, and they have to do the ironing or cutting, and i just need to sew it up! this way i dont feel like a slave and it makes it AAAAALMOST fun.
May 19, 2010 at 10:58 am
Haumana
Thanks for such a great blog. One of the worst things is to sew costumes–people know that you’re going to get paid for it, but get angry when you charge anything more than about $1/hour. My favourite is when they have no knowledge of sewing, and expect you to make something that isn’t really possible, or make snarky comments on work that you’ve done (that they couldn’t do). I once walked out of my dance class when they spent 30 minutes figuring out which type of dirndl skirt was going to twirl the best. Keep in mind that I told them that it wouldn’t work, but heck, what did I know? I’ve got a new niece, and my sister is super appreciative, so she’ll get stuff, but I love your selfish attitude. Off to make something for me, and me alone!
June 4, 2010 at 12:42 am
Selfish Seamstressing for beginners: A handy guide (via The Selfish Seamstress) « the curious kiwi
[…] The Selfish Seamstress loves to read other people's sewing blogs. She does this mainly in hopes of finding mentions of herself. (Secondary reason: So she can steal your ideas.) Recently she has noticed some bloggers making comments somewhat along the lines of, "I wish I could be more like the Selfish Seamstress!" How tremendously flattering! Are they jealous of my long flowing hair? My remarkable intelligence? My keen sense of style? My i … Read More […]
July 2, 2010 at 7:14 am
Lisette
I love this! I learned my lesson long ago about sewing for others. However, I am really fortunate that my sister-in-law treasures the clothes I make for her toddler-age son. I don’t know where she gets her sense of appreciation because she doesn’t sew herself as far as I know, but everything I’ve made for him has felt worth it. Or maybe I just feel guilty because my aunt used to sew all sorts of kooky 80s-craftsy clothes for me. I wish I still had my red star-shaped beret with matching jumpsuit!
August 3, 2010 at 1:47 pm
How I learned to crochet – Part VIII « Pascale’s Points
[…] After a perfunctory email letting me know that little Lou had received his package, it was never mentioned again. But really, what did I expect? Every crocheter and knitter cautions one to steel oneself for the inevitable day when a recipient will be oblivious to the cosmic effort of creation. If we want our efforts to be appreciated we should adopt the ethos of the Selfish Seamstress. […]
August 10, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Hell freezes over: The Selfish Seamstress mends « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] who aren’t already well familiar with my feelings about mending for others, here’s a quick primer. In any case, I’m sure you can imagine my response, the only rational response a rational […]
August 15, 2010 at 1:05 am
Jopsy
I’m going to share this blog with my Mum, for years she has sewn for everybody else! (Me included when I was small; but I usually sewed alongside her)
It made me snigger *A LOT*
Now I am sending DH & DD out for a day of sewing JUST FOR ME :)
Wohoooooo!
August 30, 2010 at 8:14 pm
sheella
HA! I love your blog which I just found a month ago. And I have been stalking you ever since. This is by far my favorite post of all. Words to live by for sure. I sewed some stuff for my husband when I first started and its all in the back of the closet, stuff he requested too. I only sew for my daughter and myself now. Sewing for my little girl is how I teach myself new techniques. :) Except she starting to have opinions now and is not as fun anymore. I’m hoping she stops that soon. :)
September 25, 2010 at 3:00 am
Mindy
I saw your article in vogue Patterns today!! Great blog! Nothing irks me moe than people who assume that because I can sew means they can get something handmade by me. One time I wore a beautiful sundress into work and not one, but TWO random broads who I normally barely talked to said this (and the wording was identical), ” You’ll have to make me a dress sometime.” Whaaaaa???!! Yeah- sometime- like never. I’m so freaking sure. And why would I ‘have to’ make them dresses? Just the wording pissed me off. Of course they never got a handmade original from me. It would have cost them upwards of $500, I suspect. And what’s up with this comment: “You must save a lot of money by making your own clothes.” Yeah, because I normally would shop exclusively on Rodeo Drive or at the least Neiman Marcus. And fabric is SO CHEAP and my time is worth nothing. Douches.
I’m happy to say that I nearly always brush off these sewing mooches. The exceptins would be 1)my beautiful sister, who is gracious and only gets stuff that I make for her as surprise gifts and who never asks me to make her anything 2)my children – my boys get increasingly less handmade things as they grow older and my daughter, who will be born in February, will be SO MUCH FUN to make pretty frothy dresses for will be cashing in big time. In fact, I just found out she was a girl a few days ago and just finished my first dress for her- a tiny black and white plaid taffeta fabric with flocked scottie dogs, red ribbon trim and matching bloomers- it’s so tiny and cute! And finally 3) my sister in law- who IS crafty, who knits and crochets beautifully, and who asked me to HELP her make a dress last summer. With my coaching, she did all the work it turned out wonderfully and she now has the confidence to sew on her own, but is welcome to consult with me any time. Her initiative is a beautiful thing. Anybody else can go take a flying leap. I’m sick of my maternity sewing and as soon as I lose my baby weight, I’m delving hardcore into my Vintage Vogue collection FOR ME! Rock on, selfish lady- you’re inspiring!
October 9, 2010 at 12:49 pm
The process of fitting for the hobby sewist « Pascale’s Points
[…] if you feel the need to create garments for other people, first read Selfish Seamstressing for Beginners. If you still want to sew for others, then make a quilt, a bag or something like an infinity loop […]
October 19, 2010 at 2:57 am
A plan for fifteen yards of silk dupioni « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] endeavor, but believe me, the cunning Selfish Seamstress is too sharp to let that happen. You know how I feel about home dec sewing, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use still it to incite envy among the sewing masses, and […]
October 19, 2010 at 6:00 pm
Carol@KeepingUpWith
Thou art the Master and I bow at your feet. You have NAILED IT. I think the straw that broke this camel’s back was the CIRCLE skirt my neighbor asked me to HAND HEM.
Never again. Now only for my kids and occasionally for a very special niece.
March 31, 2011 at 2:41 pm
cyberpunkjunk
TRUER words have never been spoken – you failed to mention zippers – I always tell people – “yeah, I always take my zipper problems to the tailor”
October 28, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Dress Form Quest: The Big Bertha Prequel « The Overflowing Stash
[…] keep multiple forms. But then I’m in the Cult of Elaine (sorry Selfish Seamstress, “Cult of the Selfish Seamstress” just doesn’t have the same ring to it), so this is no cup of tea for […]