SCANDAL ALERT! SCANDAL ALERT! SCANDAL ALERT!!!

Readers, as many of you have pointed out, the most boring and derivative character in the online sewing world is trying to get under my skin (well, and he looooves the massive traffic he gets when I link to him, and he is a total traffic whore). Not much a feat since just about everything gets under the Selfish Seamstress’s skin. But after this week, his public mockery of her lovely vintage cocktail dress, her taste in patterns, her sweet and gentle partner, and now her adoration of the beautiful monarch dress, a work of art by internationally renown and respected Seattle designer Luly Yang, quite frankly, she’s grown bored of him and has decided to turn her attention to her long-awaited Seattle fabric shopping. Yay!

But before she leaves, she has to drop a big big big huuuuuuuge bomb. Ooh, it’s so juicy and delicious and scandalous, she is squealing with delight, and you will too. Prepare to be shocked! Are you ready? Are you?

The BIG REVEAL: Male Pattern Boldness’s model and muse Cathy Lane….

Wait for it

Wait for it

Wait for it

… is actually PETER!!!!! That’s right, she’s a DUDE! Peter IS Cathy!  Wearing garish makeup and thrift store wigs and questionable polyester dresses!

I know, I know this is a huge shock. He pulled the wool over my eyes for a while too. I myself was shocked when I figured it out. But think about it… the genetic probability of physically identical cousins is infinitesimally small, you never see them in the same place, and… well… duh?

That’s right- he’s been deceiving all of us all along. Ordinarily the Selfish Seamstress would have respect for people’s personal identity issues (eh, maybe not), but in light of all of the recent attacks, she felt she had to bring out the big guns and hit where it hurts. Peter had better watch his/her back because you never know what kind of dirt the Selfish Seamstress has on you.

You heard it here first! I’m off to shop. Byeeee!