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Selfish Readers, as you know, the Selfish Seamstress was born with a hard, sawdust-filled pincushion in her ribcage where her heart should have been, and as a result her emotions typically range on a scale from peevishness to rage with touches of schadenfreud. But every once in a while something comes along that is so amazingly, touchingly beautiful that even she can’t help but be moved to ice water tears and a weird twitching of the muscles at the corners of her mouth, somewhat akin to smiling. This is one such instance.

The other day, I received an email from devoted reader Rachel, which related a truly heartwarming tale of selfish seamstressing so lovely, inspirational, and triumphant that it has the makings of a Lifetime original movie. Below is the message I received from this brave heroine. I think you’ll find yourself on your feet and cheering along with me.


Dear Selfish Seamstress,

First of all, I love your blog.

Second, the real reason I’m emailing you – I had a “what would selfish
seamstress do?” moment and had to share it.

I work in a restaurant and my next-door neighbor happens to be a co-worker.  He thinks we’re friends while I view him as simply someone I work with.  He works the opposite shift I do so I rarely ever see him (I work early AM and he works afternoon/evenings) but one morning I come in to work and he is still there.  He makes some awkward chit-chat and then brings up how his chef pants are too long for him.  I’m in the zone and trying to plan out my day, which has had a wrench thrown into it by someone still being in the kitchen when I’m supposed to have it to myself.  I say something like “That sucks,” and go about my business. (Side note: whenever my chef pants are a little too long I simply roll the waistband over once and ta da, problem solved.  Why this option has never occurred to him, I have no idea…)

Then the following exchange took place.

Lame-o guy: “So, you have a sewing machine, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
LG: “Can you hem pants?”
Me: “Yes, but I don’t like to do it.”
LG: “Oh, well would you hem my pants?”

(At this point he’s been all up in my business for about an hour and I
desperately want him to leave me in peace.  Which route to take?  Say yes in
hopes that he’ll leave or say no and be a complete bitch and hope that he’ll get
the hint and leave?

Me: (WWSSD?)  “What’s in it for me?”
LG: “I dunno, whatever you want I guess.” (Said with a slight sexual induendo)
Me: “Oh well when you put it that way, no I will not hem your pants.”
LG: “What!?  Why not?”
Me: “You have nothing I want and I already said that I don’t like hemming
pants.  Now please go home and leave me to work in peace.”
LG: “Why do you hate me?”
Me: “Find someone else to do your hemming.”

-end of conversation-

So in conclusion I would like to thank you for teaching me your selfish ways.
Seriously, without your blog on my mind I probably would have just said yes and done it begrudgingly.  Now I have the power of selfishness on my side and I can spend my time sewing stuff for me and don’t have to dread hemming LG’s pants.

Thanks again!


Rachel, you are an inspiration to the selfish sewing community, and I applaud your bravery and your fearlessness in standing up for what you believe in. And while I appreciate that you credit me in getting through this amazing ordeal, I can say from the bottom of my pincushion that this kind of spirit, strength and badass smackdown ability cannot be learned- it’s part of your soul. Bravo, Rachel, bravo! Soldier on and keep on spreading the word. Readers, can we please get a “Woot!” for Rachel and her touching story of triumph?

Has anyone else got an amazing story to share of a would-be exploiter shown the door?  Share!

About this blog

The Selfish Seamstress loves to design and sew garments, but only if she gets to keep them. I'm Elaine, known in the online sewing world as elainemay, and welcome to my selfish sewing blog.

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