During my recent multi-week blogging hiatus, several non-trivial, sewing-related things happened in Selfishland that I have not yet mentioned. So let me try to catch you up a bit. First, my cousin Evelyn, who is as sweet, warm, and fun as Selfish is solitary and curmudgeonly, introduced me to the wonder that is N.Y. Elegant Fabrics in the NYC garment district. Thus was born a new obsession. I also got to meet up with wonderful Lindsay T., that beautiful and knowledgeable celebrity of the online sewing world in an envy-inducing jacket à la Chanel. And various comments from readers seem to imply that I met up with Peter for supper, but I have to admit that I have no recollection of the encounter. Given that the Selfish Seamstress abstains from the use of any mind- or mood-altering substances that might otherwise explain such a gap in memory, I guess that either the meeting made no impression on me whatsoever, or else so much that I blocked it out entirely. Either way, I’m not too worried. And upon arriving in my new home, I discovered that I am a mere two blocks from a store devoted to vintage sewing machines. And I can’t say I haven’t flirted a bit with a tiny, adorable Elna portable that winks at me every time I walk past the window.
Oh, and I became a columnist for Vogue Patterns Magazine, with my first column appearing in the current issue.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, Mother Ship! I’ve been a VPM fan ever since I read Gertie’s post about it and treated myself to a couple of issues. (Seriously, lots of useful articles and tips, and I love the way they style the garments so much more than the styling in most other American sewing mags.) And now that I contribute to it, it’s kind of like being a big fan of MYSELF. Which is one of my favorite things to do.
Now, you know the Selfish Seamstress doesn’t generally play well with others in unless she is the boss. But seriously, the chance to contribute to BMV?! They probably could have asked me to go around their headquarters sweeping up thread bits and I would have said yes if it would win me the right to say that I work for BMV. (Okay, technically I don’t “work for” them, I’m freelance. But I see no reason to be honest and accurate when lies are so much more impressive.) Sighhh, I feel like Cinderella. Even though I’ve always identified more with the wicked stepsister.
Okay, I’m going to answer some questions that will probably arise.
Q: Are you selling out?
A: Pffft, whatever. Selling out requires that you have some semblance of a sense of integrity or values to compromise in the first place. As the Selfish Seamstress has never had either, it’s impossible for her to compromise them.
Q: What’s your column about?
A: It’s called Sewing Therapy, and if I had to sum it up in a phrase, it addresses social and psychological sewing issues. But really it’s just me making fun of stuff. Doesn’t that sound deep?
Q: Is this a one-time thing or are we going to have to sit through your crap in every issue?
A: I plan to contribute as often as they’ll let me! There are six issues a year, and until they tell me to stop wasting their time with my drivel, I hope to be there.
Q: Does VPM edit your writing?
A: Of course. The Selfish Seamstress in raw form is much too negative and profane for print media so they’ve got to clean her up at least a little bit. You know how often she feels compelled to use the word “beeyatch,” and VPM is a classy publication. But don’t worry, her nasty spirit and evil genius can withstand a little necessary copy editing to shine through. And you can still get your dose of pure, uncensored Selfish Seamstress here, beeyatch.
Q: Do they pay you? What are you going to do with your newfound riches?
A: Yes. For the time being, my plan is to use $20 to get a VPM subscription for my mom (who loves to see my name in print, but is not so keen reading my scholarly articles in scientific journals) and donate the remainder to charitable causes (currently St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.)
Q: Isn’t accepting payment for regular assignments akin to making a job from your hobby, which contradicts your earlier post in which you said you had no interest in that? Does that just make you a fraud and a hypocrite.
A: Sure, whatever. I’m really too busy and important for this argument. I write for Vogue Patterns Magazine, you know.
Q: Does this mean your blog is going to become one big ad for BMV and Vogue Patterns Magazine?
A: What? Of course not. I am free to continue posting and whatever topics I want, and state my cranky opinions as I always have. So stay tuned and keep reading. And GO BUY VOGUE PATTERNS MAGAZINE RIGHT NOW. BUY IT. ON NEWSSTANDS NOW. BUUUUUUUUYYYYY IT.
54 comments
Comments feed for this article
October 11, 2010 at 5:23 am
Miss Celie
Congratulations on a regular column! Just more ways to hear more from you!
October 11, 2010 at 5:41 am
Em
“That sounds like a nice little magazine! I think I want that.”, I thought and went on to try to order it from vouge pattern. Only to find out they don’t deliver to Sweden. And that no other will either.
Fear not! Tomorrow I will head out in my city and try to find it in paper! Hopefully it will be a glorious hunt, and I will have the oppertunity to read your column.
October 11, 2010 at 5:49 am
Laura
Congratulations!!!! What a cool job!
October 11, 2010 at 5:54 am
Tanit-Isis
Must… buy… it….
Congratulations! Hmm, curse you, Selfish… first you start me on the Burda, now Vogue Patterns… what’s next? Threads? Japanese pattern books?
October 11, 2010 at 5:58 am
Jane
Congratulations on getting the VPM column. I shall do as ordered by your selfishness and get hold of one asap! And welcome back, it’s so good to be reading your posts again. Just wondering where you are though?
October 11, 2010 at 6:32 am
Meredith P
I have to admit, it’s the only remaining pattern magazine (other than Burda) that I subscribe to. So I read this article long ago. I’m glad to hear that you’ll be a regular contributor…at least in your own mind. :-)
You haven’t mentioned Sasa (or Dan). Are they both OK? No lengthy quarantines for either of them, I hope.
October 11, 2010 at 6:48 am
Peter
It couldn’t have happened to a meaner person. Congratulations!
October 11, 2010 at 7:04 am
sisters4saymoreismore
freaking hilarious! congrats on this super cool gig! your adorable grouchy-ness always brightens my day… so i simply need to pic up that mag asap!
~selina
October 11, 2010 at 7:54 am
Gertie
Yay! Great news! Off to find a copy!
October 11, 2010 at 8:09 am
Trudy Callan
Congratulations on your column in Vogue Patterns Magazine. That is so exciting.
October 11, 2010 at 8:25 am
Susan - KnittersDelight
That is fantastic! How fabulous is that???!!!! I’ll make sure to get my copy and read you article.
October 11, 2010 at 9:31 am
Dawn
I saw your article( and read it). I was so excited that I “knew” you! congrats.
October 11, 2010 at 9:32 am
Ann's Fashion Studio
Congratulations!
October 11, 2010 at 9:38 am
Kerry
Tell your people at VPM that you just sold a subscription. I ordered a 1-yr subscription for the sole purpose of reading your selfish musings.
October 11, 2010 at 9:56 am
Irene
Saw your article when I received my magazine. I was thrilled to see it, and thrilled for you for having “made it”.
October 11, 2010 at 9:57 am
Susan Metzler
If Heidi Klum can have a 1.5 hour ad for her new line (“exclusively on amazon.com”), you can certainly promote your column and magazine on your blog! (Congratulations!)
October 11, 2010 at 10:31 am
Germania Solorzano
Go on with your selfish self. You rock.
October 11, 2010 at 10:51 am
Samina
The charities can wait. I think you should spend your millions on gift subscriptions to VPM for all of us (ok, just me) so that we (I) can read your column. No? I’ll go get my own freakin’ copy, then. Selfish beeyatch.
October 11, 2010 at 11:15 am
Kathleen Dougherty
Congratulations! I’ll have to check it out:)
October 11, 2010 at 11:21 am
Rebecca
Awesome! Congratulations! Hey what’s your take on the November BurdaStyle? I miss your previews!
October 11, 2010 at 11:29 am
~Sherry~
Great! You will be brilliant at this, and I’m sure your column will end up a favourite in the magazine!
I don’t buy it – being a patternmaker lol – but often see it at the newstand so will be sure to check it out!
October 11, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Carolyn
Congratulations! Can’t wait to read you regularly at VPM!
October 11, 2010 at 12:07 pm
PetitePear
Drat! I have to trek my way back to the dreaded local fabric store just to get a copy of VPM? I wouldn’t do it for anyone else, you know!
October 11, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Sewing Princess
Congratulations! Pity I won’t be able to read it… they don’t deliver it where I live.
October 11, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Tilly
Mazel tov! That’s great news. Not sure if it’s available in the UK but I’m sure gonna find out…
October 11, 2010 at 1:31 pm
vicki
Just how selfish can you get!? Congatulations.
October 11, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Mimi O
I must point out…one can not take over the sewing world without having an evil “side kick”!!!!
You know where would The Brain be without Pinky or the evil sea witch, Ursula, without Flotsam and Jetsam.
An evil mastermind such as yourself definitely needs a sewing partner (aka evil sidekick) in crime to worship your selfishness and help you obtain world domination in the sewing arena.
Muahahahhaha….
I wonder how many would apply???
October 11, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Handmade
Good on You!! Go for it!! Flaunt it – congratulations!!!!
October 11, 2010 at 5:29 pm
Valerie
I’m Chanel Pink with envy beeeyatch!
October 11, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Annamarie
Congratulations! You deserve it! Your writing is really entertaining. My blogging partner, Lynne, who hates sewing (I am trying to convert her, but the brainwashing isn’t working.) loves reading your blog. You could write about Fruit Loops and Lynne would still read “The Selfish Seamstress” because she really likes your writing.
Annamarie
October 11, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Vanessa
Clever Beeeyatch.
October 11, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Our Heroine
Congratulations! So many exciting life changes all at once–I’m jealous.
October 11, 2010 at 11:14 pm
maria
Dear Selfish, I’ve reading your blog anonymously for a while (does that make me a stalker?) without feeling the need to comment on your witty writing, But this week I have spotted something funny enough to make me want to come out of my cozy closet. It’s a version (copy) of your coffe date dress in your former favorite magazine Patrones. I have a photo but have no clue of how to send it to your blog, so I’ll try your BurdaStyle profile. Now that you’re a source of inspiration I’d say you’re entitled to be more selfish than ever. And welcome to Europe!
October 12, 2010 at 2:46 am
Tany
That’s awesome, congratulations!!
October 12, 2010 at 5:15 am
Chrisrx
I hope Vogue pays the copy editors for the pain inflicted upon their burning eyeballs caused by reading your uncensored articles. Congratulations.
October 12, 2010 at 6:10 am
Deborah
So, yesterday–God help me–I dropped in to Hancock’s to take wild advantage of their Columbus Day mega-sale, owing to the fact that Columbus hisself was such a talented seamster. As I was carting up my 68 (NOT an exaggeration) fabulous patterns, I was strangely drawn to this new issue of VPM, to which I do not currently subscribe. I had no idea why its siren song was quite so strong–and lo, the answer reveals itself! Clearly I was sensing your fabulousness coming through the cover.
Should my wicked plan of spiriting my entire staff off to NYC come spring for some fabric swooning and touring come to pass, we’ll be sure to drop by and visit wearing shirts proclaiming YOU as our preferred VPM columnist.
October 12, 2010 at 7:15 am
Gorgeous Things
Woot woot!!! Well deserved and hysterically funny. I can’t wait to see more!
October 12, 2010 at 8:55 am
dana
Congrats! It’s really a public service that you’re doing, reminding others that they, too, can aspire to be selfish! Keep ’em coming!
October 12, 2010 at 9:22 am
LindaC
Congratulations! I don’t even know you and I am so proud of you! I think I’m going to cry…. wait..no, false alarm. ;)
October 12, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Marc
Welcome back! I’ve been lurking around your website for months now. When you went on hiatus I had to actually find other sewing blogs to read. I’ve been very disappointed by what I’ve found. Congrats on the column!
October 13, 2010 at 3:41 am
Marilyn
Hey, I wondered when you’d boast about the column!
I saw it a few weeks ago & thought holy crap, I actually (kinda) know someone who writes stuff in one of my favourite mags!
well done! (even though I’m only adding to the swelling cranium over in Europa land)
October 13, 2010 at 5:19 am
sewjourner
Very cool! Congratulations. ~Sewjourner
October 13, 2010 at 11:51 am
Angela
Congrats! I need to go pick one up!
October 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
sj
classy magazines of all people need a dose of selfishness! way to change the world.
October 13, 2010 at 6:43 pm
Mary Nanna
Congratulations – surely a great endorsement of your achievements.
October 15, 2010 at 4:17 am
Rosie
Congrats and look forward to reading more “Selfish Seamstress”comments. Hope you are settling in.
October 19, 2010 at 7:07 am
Pam ~Off The Cuff~
Fabulous ! ! !
October 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm
patsijean
Ever so many congratulations! In the very early 90’s, Vogue Pattern Magazine published one of my tips and I thought it was so cool. This is really, truly cool.
November 6, 2010 at 8:15 pm
DanceMom Who Sews, A Little
My daughter, (age 13) has been performing in a Nutcracker in a small, (but good quality) ballet company. I’ve been assisting them with repairing several costumes. I have decided to resume sewing, which I havn’t done much of, for awhile. My question is, can you suggest a sewing machine that is basic in capabilities, but of good quality? I recently bought the
Singer Simple Sewing Machine”. It is already broken, and of course the 90 day warranty is up. It’s going to cost as much to repair, as I initially paid for it.
November 18, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Amber
Fabulous! I can’t think of anyone that deserves it more!
November 23, 2010 at 3:26 am
Akka
Congrats! Best wishes for future endeavors.
January 9, 2011 at 7:31 am
sewnsew
I am so glad I stumbled upon this blog. Hilarious, and needed in the very selfish
sewing world. I feel like I have to sneek so much because my husband watches everything . So annoying. I live in the land down under, well Texas that is, where hell is still just a local call. Its blazing hot in summer which last 10 months and I only shop cotton. Need more cottons, please. From now on I am not missing any vogue pattern magazines.
January 10, 2011 at 10:51 am
I Read Sewing Magainzes « Toferet
[…] just started subscribing to VPM after good reviews from Elaine and Carolyn, but I’m already addicted. Not only does the afore mentioned Elaine have a […]
July 27, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Kristie Watson
I need an actual Ursula the Sea Witch costume. One that resembles her almost exactly. Or I need some kind of sewing pattern to make my own.