Selfish Readers, as you know, the Selfish Seamstress was born with a hard, sawdust-filled pincushion in her ribcage where her heart should have been, and as a result her emotions typically range on a scale from peevishness to rage with touches of schadenfreud. But every once in a while something comes along that is so amazingly, touchingly beautiful that even she can’t help but be moved to ice water tears and a weird twitching of the muscles at the corners of her mouth, somewhat akin to smiling. This is one such instance.

The other day, I received an email from devoted reader Rachel, which related a truly heartwarming tale of selfish seamstressing so lovely, inspirational, and triumphant that it has the makings of a Lifetime original movie. Below is the message I received from this brave heroine. I think you’ll find yourself on your feet and cheering along with me.


Dear Selfish Seamstress,

First of all, I love your blog.

Second, the real reason I’m emailing you – I had a “what would selfish
seamstress do?” moment and had to share it.

I work in a restaurant and my next-door neighbor happens to be a co-worker.  He thinks we’re friends while I view him as simply someone I work with.  He works the opposite shift I do so I rarely ever see him (I work early AM and he works afternoon/evenings) but one morning I come in to work and he is still there.  He makes some awkward chit-chat and then brings up how his chef pants are too long for him.  I’m in the zone and trying to plan out my day, which has had a wrench thrown into it by someone still being in the kitchen when I’m supposed to have it to myself.  I say something like “That sucks,” and go about my business. (Side note: whenever my chef pants are a little too long I simply roll the waistband over once and ta da, problem solved.  Why this option has never occurred to him, I have no idea…)

Then the following exchange took place.

Lame-o guy: “So, you have a sewing machine, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
LG: “Can you hem pants?”
Me: “Yes, but I don’t like to do it.”
LG: “Oh, well would you hem my pants?”

(At this point he’s been all up in my business for about an hour and I
desperately want him to leave me in peace.  Which route to take?  Say yes in
hopes that he’ll leave or say no and be a complete bitch and hope that he’ll get
the hint and leave?

Me: (WWSSD?)  “What’s in it for me?”
LG: “I dunno, whatever you want I guess.” (Said with a slight sexual induendo)
Me: “Oh well when you put it that way, no I will not hem your pants.”
LG: “What!?  Why not?”
Me: “You have nothing I want and I already said that I don’t like hemming
pants.  Now please go home and leave me to work in peace.”
LG: “Why do you hate me?”
Me: “Find someone else to do your hemming.”

-end of conversation-

So in conclusion I would like to thank you for teaching me your selfish ways.
Seriously, without your blog on my mind I probably would have just said yes and done it begrudgingly.  Now I have the power of selfishness on my side and I can spend my time sewing stuff for me and don’t have to dread hemming LG’s pants.

Thanks again!


Rachel, you are an inspiration to the selfish sewing community, and I applaud your bravery and your fearlessness in standing up for what you believe in. And while I appreciate that you credit me in getting through this amazing ordeal, I can say from the bottom of my pincushion that this kind of spirit, strength and badass smackdown ability cannot be learned- it’s part of your soul. Bravo, Rachel, bravo! Soldier on and keep on spreading the word. Readers, can we please get a “Woot!” for Rachel and her touching story of triumph?

Has anyone else got an amazing story to share of a would-be exploiter shown the door?  Share!