I guess I should have seen this coming in light of yesterday’s discovery of the 50-foot tall Burda Professor. Dan arrived home a little while ago from his trip abroad to get me the July 2010 Burda issue, and as soon as he got in the door I pried it out of his bag with my selfish little hands, looking desperately for the coveted pants that I’ve been lusting after and…

… of course. It’s the one pattern in there for the extra tall girls. Burda sizes 72-88. Duh, how did I not see that one coming? The model is a freakin’ Amazon. (Though to be fair, I have seen issues of Burda in which they used the same model for both the tall girls garment and the petite girls garment, so you can’t necessarily guess based on the model.)

Needless to say, I was mad. “Can’t you do ANYTHING right?!” I screamed at Dan. “You get your sorry butt back to Frankfurt and YOU. FIX. THIS.” But after I punched a hole through the wall and calmed down some, I decided that it wasn’t worth sending him back because he’d probably just return with some lame excuse about having checked every newsstand in Germany and how all the Burdas were the same. Which would mean even more days with no one to cook dinner for me, and still no viable pants pattern. So I sent him off to the bedroom to think about what he did.**

I’m not sure what my plan of action is now. I may just try to draft a similar pair of pants myself. Going from a pant pattern designed for extra tall ladies and editing it for my sub-petite inseam is probably asking for trouble, given all of the weird pulling and sagging issues that can occur when you start messing with the crotch/hip/tooshie area of an existing pants pattern. I don’t know.

The Selfish Seamstress is just going to ponder why nothing ever seems to go her way while eating some of the cookies and chocolate Dan brought back for her from Europe. Poor, poor Selfish Seamstress.

** It is also possible that Dan may have just wandered into the bedroom himself and passed out from jetlag. It’s unclear.