If you’ve been thinking that the Selfish Seamstress has been a little scarce in these parts as of late, I would say that’s pretty accurate. Apparently all of the students at my university expect me to “educate” them, my research lab expects me to “mentor” them, and my colleagues expect me to “collaborate” with them. I ask you – do any of these words sound like things that Professor Selfish would actually do?? Grumble. So, things I haven’t had much time for:
- Sewing
- Reading and commenting on your sewing blogs
- Writing on my own sad, stagnating sewing blog
Things I do somehow manage to find time for (other than the aforementioned grudging educating, mentoring, and collaborating):
- Buying fabric
- Resenting stuff
So now that these appear to be my two main free time hobbies, I am in the fortunate position to be able to combine these two passions through my newest Selfish Seamstress Nemesis: Ann of Gorgeous Fabrics, aka “Gowachuss Nemesis,” “Fab-ri-licious Nemesis,” “Hawt Nemesis.” Ha, that’s right, Ann, I’m turning your own idiosyncratic spellings right back on you!
“Oh, Selfish!” you might protest, “Not Ann! She’s such a positive, life-affirming soul, and gives such great, friendly customer service! How could you ever make an enemy of Ann?” Don’t let her fool you. She made an enemy of me first. Let’s face it, the woman’s a pusher, a sneaky temptress. She reels you in with enticing patterns and colors, and next thing you know, you’re hitting refresh on her “new arrivals” page 20, 30, 40 times a day. You’re looking at it first thing when you wake up and second-to-last thing before you go to bed (last thing, obviously, being saying a little prayer that she doesn’t post anything too amazing while you are asleep that gets all bought up before you wake up.)
Sure, I could treat this like any ordinary nemesis post and go on and on about her gorgeous silk Pippa dress, or her closetful of let-me-show-off-my-couture-sewing-skills Chanel jackets, seething with envy all the while. But I think you’ll get a better feel for just how powerful a foe this woman is if you check out her designer fabric page while simultaneously staring into the face of pure fabric-pushing evil:
That warm, dazzling smile, that chic haircut, that stunning dress … shudder. I have chilling flashbacks of typing in my billing address just looking at her. And even more dangerous – do not underestimate the ways in which Ann can mess with your head and turn you into your own worst enemy just by adding new stuff to her store. She makes me like things I didn’t think I liked (florals??), she makes me want things I didn’t think I wanted (charmeuse??), and lastly she makes me buy things that I don’t need (silk??). No, no, actually, I do need them. Like this forsythia print Milly silk charmeuse that makes one long for spring in the dead of winter. Absolute necessity and haha, sold out, suckas!
She knows what she’s doing too, that crafty, crafty Ann. I thought I had won this one. I resisted it until it sold out. She got another bolt, and still I resisted, remembering my shame from the last time I binged on her silk supplies. And then, sensing my strength decaying, she delivered her perfectly timed shot – a sale. My resistance crumbled like a week-old cookie, and that was that. Two more yards in my shopping bag. She won. (Sigh, she won again earlier this week with another sale during which I succumbed to two pieces of black stretch leather. She knows she’s the only person on the whole internet who sells stretch leather by the piece, and she wielded that silently over my head like a giant, lethal seam ripper.)
And so, what of it then? What did this wicked woman drive me to next? I’ll tell you: Vogue 1236, the DKNY blouson dress.
Given how precious few my sewing hours are these days (I actually finished this a week ago, but didn’t have time to photograph and post), I figured I would opt for something very simple so that I could actually finish it. Vogue 1236 is indeed delightfully simple, but the pleats at the neckline make it far from boring, and very on-trend in the silhouette. It also doesn’t require a precise fit, which made it a lot easier to put together in my few scraps of sewing time. But, like many of the DKNY patterns, it starts at size 8, which meant I had to grade down 2 sizes, and that’s sort of time-consuming. Plus, my choice of silk charmeuse made everything take three times as long because my clumsy fingers aren’t good at cutting, pinning, and stitching slippery, drapey fabric that changes shape when you so much as look at it. But I managed:
Argh. I’m showing this one so you can have a better front view of the dress, but only reluctantly because I hate when photos make me look like I have an enormous balloon head, and teeny tiny freaky rubber hands! What is it about photos that make my hands so small??
I ended up using the wrong side of the fabric, because I liked the matte side better, and I thought it might be more appropriate for work, unshiny and tucked under a cardigan. The bonus is that the silky slippery side is against my skin, which feels all kinds of posh.
Other than the grading down, I didn’t make any significant changes. I did French seams on the sides, and I used a different method of attaching the facing than the one recommended in the instructions. (The method in the instructions leaves little openings that you close with hand stitching, but I opted for my usual version that lets you do the whole thing by machine and in my opinion gives a more consistent finish.) I also omitted the pockets because having them would be a temptation to put stuff in them, which probably isn’t a great idea for a light, floaty, delicate dress.
Here’s a close up on the front pleats, which take on a nice, fluid softness rendered in the charmeuse:
So I guess something good came out of my little losing battle with Selfish Seamstress Nemesis Ann. Sure, she’s going to keep posting irresistible fabrics faster than I can sew them (especially these days) and sure, I’m going to keep buying them faster than I can sew them. But a new dress in an absolutely gowachuss forsythia print silk is still a tiny little victory that I’m going to savor. Take that, Nemesis!
55 comments
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February 21, 2012 at 9:19 am
Jane
Gorgeous! I love the fabric, love the dress and love the shoes
February 21, 2012 at 9:19 am
Elizabeth
OOOOH! I have that fabric too. Now we’re evil twins!
February 21, 2012 at 9:21 am
Rachelle
Gorgeous. This is the best version I’ve seen. I’m sure the Selfish Seamstress did that just to get compliments. She’s so Selfish!
February 21, 2012 at 9:25 am
Rachel UK
Gorgeous dress! And it’s good to see you back.x
February 21, 2012 at 9:30 am
Kristine
Beautiful dress! I never thought to use the wrong side to evade the shine… Brilliant!
February 21, 2012 at 9:33 am
Claire (aka Seemane)
Niiicccee dress ‘o selfish one :)
February 21, 2012 at 9:48 am
Samina
That dress is absolutely stunning & you look stunning in it, tiny hands & all!
February 21, 2012 at 9:53 am
gorgeous things
To quote one of my heroines, Jessica Rabbit, “I’m not really bad, I’m just drawn that way!”
Fabulous dress (of course!) and I die for your shoes! :)
February 21, 2012 at 9:55 am
karen
love it! glad you’re back!
February 21, 2012 at 10:03 am
Toby Wollin
Mwa-ha-ha!!! Evil gorgeous Fabric Person strikes again – getting you to sew something very gorgeous that you didn’t even know you needed. Sha-Zaaaam! Great stuff and just a lovely lovely dress. Ready for spring, you are.
February 21, 2012 at 10:18 am
Diane
I went to the fabric store last week to ONLY buy notions and I left the store with about 6 pieces of fabric. Sigh, I am so week. The fabric store was a JoAnn’s even, I can’t even imagine how much fabric I would buy if I went to a store that sold really nice fabric/crack.
February 21, 2012 at 10:37 am
oonaballoona
stunning dress and foe, but…
now all i can do is look at your hands.
February 21, 2012 at 10:58 am
Whitney
Beautiful dress! I’ve often thought Ann was evil too:)
February 21, 2012 at 11:06 am
Janet B
You have a formidable nemesis.
You know she’s going to win.
Your dress is gorgeous.
February 21, 2012 at 11:22 am
Clio
That Ann is a tricksy sort, especially with all her helpful tutorials designed to trick you into sewing perfect welt pockets! Wait – she sells stretch leather?!?!? Really?!?!? Is it reasonably priced? I mean, curses! How dare she!!!!
Great dress!
February 21, 2012 at 11:43 am
Amanda S.
I like this quite a lot, especially the beautiful fabric choice!
February 21, 2012 at 11:46 am
RobinD.
utterly entertaining post!! Love the dress, love the fabric, love that you used the back side instead of the shiny side.
And you totally crack me up with your bizarre self-criticisms. Small hands? Balloon head? really ????
That actually makes me feel better about my own ridiculous self-criticisms. Mine are freakish giraffe neck and puny feet.
And oh yes, that Ann is a toublemaker! Hmmm I think i need to check her website.
February 21, 2012 at 11:58 am
Jan
Oh, Selfish, you’re kind of evil yourself. I had to check out Gorgeous Fabrics, and of course, I see something I like … arggh!
You’ve also reminded me that our forsythia will need trimming this spring, as we’ve ignored them for several years, and if we don’t tackle the job this year, they might take over the neighborhood!
February 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm
LinB
Actual forsythia shrubs are popping into bloom here already. I like the print you chose — it captures the exploding-fireworks effect of those bright yellow flowers against a dark and lifeless woodland background. Sorry that stupid things like work are impeding your sewing time.
February 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm
Debi
You couldn’t have chosen a better nemesis! I was just at the Gorgeous Fabrics website this morning lamenting the evil sale! The dress is fabulous!
February 21, 2012 at 12:20 pm
I’m Not Really Bad, I’m Just Drawn That Way… | Gorgeous Things' Blog
[…] . . Oh who am I kidding? Selfish Seamstress is right. I’m pure and unadulterated eeeeevil. Fabric world domination shall be mine, I […]
February 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Sassy T
Fabric to die for. There really should be a Fabric Anonymous. FA.
February 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Carolyn
I think it was an inspired fabric choice because you ended up with a very beautiful dress. I love everything about it!
February 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Susan Davis
You are rocking that dress, especially in that fabric. Your nemesis can push her evil all she wants, you are working it out! lol
February 21, 2012 at 1:22 pm
sarah
Glad to have you back! (And I am very glad I never saw that fabric before this post.)
February 21, 2012 at 2:27 pm
kathyh
You must know how to totally mess up a ‘collaboration’ by now so they never ask you again. I’m not sure how to ‘mentor’ a lab rat, and face it, students are just getting dumber so being hopeful you can ‘educate’ them is so not a good use of your time.
Your voice is missed.
February 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm
symondezyn
Oh I feel your pain – that site reels you in with its friendly nature and incredibly gorgeous fabric… not to mention the tips on great patterns to go with them all… it is definitely evil LOL!!
I love the ‘wrong side’ of charmeuse too… your dress is fabulous! :)
February 21, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Tanit-Isis
Hmm, it appears you should’ve stayed back here where the expectations of “educating” and “mentoring” were obviously lower ;).
That is truly evil, sucking someone into sewing with silk charmeuse.
Also, do you realize in your absence I’ve practically become a kids’ clothes blogger? I swear for the last six months I’ve made two or three items for the offspring for every one for me. I need more selfishness!
Still, so very, very glad to hear from you. :)
February 21, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Redrockcity
Weekly stash accumulation (in meters) = (x + y + z)/FO
x=manuscripts in revision
y=grants in preparation
z=lecture hours
February 28, 2012 at 4:22 am
CamberwellGal
….oh I feel your pain! Are you sure there is enough account in your equation for student reference writing, who need that reference, like NOW!? While my sewing machine quietly gathers dust…
Perhaps I just need a really superb piece of fabric to get going again…?
February 21, 2012 at 4:16 pm
ElleC
What Tanit-Isis said. The dress is lovely of course we would expect nothing less. Small hands, hmm, better than having the large man-like peasant hands that I have, and mine are smaller than my mother’s!
February 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm
liza jane
I look at how giant my hands look in all my photos. I’m like that Seinfeld episode.
Your dress is gorgeous. And those shoes…!
February 21, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Erica
Oh thank god you are back! I teach 8th grade science, so I need your blog as an outlet for the snarky-ness that I cannot unleash upon the children! Also, I need the inspiration of your beautiful clothes and daunting sewing skills! ALL HAIL SELFISH!!!!
February 21, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Gail
Your going to have to hate me too, because I want that fabric too. Badly! Love your dress.
February 21, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Bethsews
Needing our Selfish..
Those who pay you, we did curse,
All forgiven now
February 21, 2012 at 10:56 pm
Vicki
I know what you mean: grant writing, conferences and data production have been *seriously* eating into my sewing time. It’s so unfair.
February 22, 2012 at 9:30 am
Beth
Entertainment and motivation in one post. Think I’ll sew something today. Thanks for posting, you are one of my favorites. Beautiful dress!
February 22, 2012 at 11:32 am
Weeza
I saw this and thought ‘yes, a dress I can make that will fit me I must purchase the pattern immediately!!’ then I saw that you had to grade it down. Alas, my grading skills are zero. Bugger. Looks amazeballs on you.
February 22, 2012 at 1:48 pm
The Slapdash Sewist
Hee, your musing about your freakish rubber hands made me laugh (for the record, I think your hands look perfectly normal in the photo). Beautiful dress and it’s nice to know that all is well with you!
February 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Elaine (nobody you know)
Smart move on the pockets. Looks great!
February 22, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Maia
Little baby girl
Waiting, waiting for her dress
Selfish Auntie, WAAAAAH!
February 23, 2012 at 5:34 am
senaSews
What a great dress. Love the fabric!
February 23, 2012 at 11:02 am
Amy
Beautiful dress. And I’m so with you on that leather. It was definitely gowachuss.
February 23, 2012 at 2:30 pm
tara
Welcome back! XXX
February 24, 2012 at 1:16 am
Colleen
Pish. Those university students. They really do have some nerve.
Glad you’re back!
February 25, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Patti
Earning a living can be SUCH a nuisance! Glad to see you back.
March 6, 2012 at 5:48 am
Madeleine
I’m pretty happy to read you again. I really understand how it can be hard to read sewing stuff and keep sewing while all those people at the university try to make you work harder all days (I’m also a university professor and a sewing enthousiast: you are not alone!). Perhaps in some years you will have a sabbatical year for sewing (Doh! I mean research!) ? Traveling for research during a sabbatical year is always a very good occasion to shop for interesting fabric :-)
February 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm
Elle Dechene
You look hawt and gowachus (my iPad did not like those words at all, attempted substitutions), wonderful choice of pattern for fabric. Non-shiny side goodness. I too succumbed — twice– to Ann’s latest sale tactics. As well as previously, thank goodness (that Rue Chambon fabric is now all gone, as in mine).
March 4, 2012 at 8:49 am
Jean
Sooo glad to hear from you again! And thanks for a really meaty enjoyable post…. I have yet to succumb to the charms of Ann… though I have loads of fabric in my shopping cart which i just dare not press check out… aaarrgh…
keep busy and happy! ♥
March 12, 2012 at 9:09 am
Simplicity 2473 again, and a mini Roman fabric tour « The Selfish Seamstress
[…] cheerful florals are rare in my stash, I have noticed that I have a particular weakness for florals without greenery. I find them somehow modern and edgy in a way that cuts the usual sweetness of floral prints. I […]
October 27, 2012 at 10:55 am
PhD Student (computer science)
I’m curious…. what field do you work in? I understand this is a blog about sewing, so I don’t really expect a response. But I am curious… Biology? Computer Science? I have no idea. Mostly because I can’t picture any of the academics I know also having time for so much sewing…
January 16, 2013 at 3:13 pm
Wendyp
Dear Selfish Seamstress, because I know you hate doing anybody a favour without being rewarded in some way, I would like to express my immense gratitude for finally giving me an idea on what to do with a gorgeous light cotton bird-print fabric I got in London last summer… When I find the time for sewing again (everything takes up so much time these days… Maybe I should let my kid make his own lunch and dinner and wash his own clothes and let my husband do even more of all the household tasks) I know what I am starting with… So thank you for your selflessly given inspiration…
April 6, 2013 at 3:33 am
Kathryn Hale
You are hilarious!
May 8, 2013 at 6:24 am
Sally
Dam you and your Gorgeous Fabrics! I had never HEARD of the place and now I am hopelessly hooked….
June 2, 2014 at 6:48 am
Vogue 1236 | Silk Pins and Strawberries
[…] to it gives this dress that little something extra – I love The Selfish Seamstress’s version in silk. I’ll keep my eye out for a silk print I […]