I’ve started to accept the fact that the whole 80’s trend isn’t really a trend anymore, but a full-blown revival. I barely even notice anymore when girls walk by in leggings, pumps, and legwarmers. But I’m not about to jump on the bandwagon, even if Burda’s early preview for the December issue (thanks again, Burda Russia!) suggests that I might be keen on sewing up a pair of these:

Considering that these pants are spacious from the top all the way down to the oh-so-flatteringly tapered calf, I’m not sure what innovative feats of sewing and construction are keeping the band so appealingly positioned around the model’s lower ribcage. The only gripe I have about this garment is that they don’t have a picture of them paired with the coordinating cropped jacket:

Wasted opportunity, if you ask me.

The 80s weren’t all bad though, and as a 4th grader, I’m sure I would have dreamed about the day that I could have donned this for an awesome party at which Morten Harket, lead singer of A-ha, and I would have fallen in love and probably gotten engaged right there on the spot:

Wouldn’t we have made an adorable couple? I didn’t realize at the time that I wasn’t exactly going to develop into the type that could pull off that dress though, which I assume is probably the reason that Morten and I didn’t end up together after all.

I have to say, I don’t really get this look.  I’m not sure if that’s 80s-related, or just my general failure to comprehend what is going on here:

And the choice of satin pleated Dockers, purple armwarmers, and fur mushroom hat isn’t really helping me to make sense of it. I think she stole the hat from this sensitive lumberjack guy…

… and he is thinking wistfully of the fur hat he lost.

Also kooky? This. Is it Spandex?  Latex?  Hefty bag?

Based on the limited early preview, I’d have to say that this is not on my To-Buy list just yet. If you’re looking for a good plus dress for your fancy holiday parties (Selfish is never invited to parties on account of her tendencies to insult other guests’ outfits and shove more than her fair share of desserts into her purse before the others have had a chance to get to them), this issue does have a beautiful one.  At least I think it’s a plus gown- it’s always so hard to tell with the Burda models:

But far and away my favorite is this dress (though I think a better fit could have been achieved), on account of its resemblance to bad girl Caroline’s dress from the school dance in Sixteen Candles:

Sigh.  I miss the days when lavender ruched taffeta was the uniform of the naughty girls. She smoked, she drank, she was on the pill, she got her hair stuck in doors, she partied, and you know how you could tell?  By all the puffiness in her sleeves! Caroline got a bad rap though. She appreciated Jake for being rich, whereas Molly Ringwald just liked him because he was hot.

I’m pretty sure if I make that Burda dress from the 12.2010 issue, I’ll end up at a party at which Jake from Sixteen Candles falls in love with me.  And no, not the actor who played Jake who left Hollywood to become a carpenter, but JAKE RYAN FOR REAL.

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