Super stylin’ Susan over at Knitter’s Delight once left me a funny comment recounting the time that she noticed someone was hitting her blog by searching on the phrase “I hate Knitter’s Delight.” Any of you have visited Knitter’s Delight knows, of course, that there’s absolutely nothing there to hate, unless what you hate happens to be really cute dresses on a really cute blogger.
Anyway, I was just perusing my own impoverished stats, and noticed something unusual in my own top search terms from yesterday:

Yes, all the usual suspects are there like “selfish seamstress,” “gargamel,” “baby bunny“, and “coffee date dress.” Then there’s the new and unexpected but totally explainable “fashion knickers 1981.”
Ooh, but look at that- there’s also a never-before-seen search term that got cut off:
“elaine may the selfish seamstress is a p”
WordPress stats reporting cuts the phrase off after a certain length, so I’ll probably never know for sure what the whole phrase was, or whether it was nice, neutral, nasty, nosy, or none of the above. (It must have been important though because they searched on it five times.) But I think it would be a fun game to guess! So far, my top guesses are:
“elaine may the selfish seamstress is a pretty, pretty lady!”
“elaine may the selfish seamstress is a princess,”
“elaine may the selfish seamstress is a peter fan in secret,” and
“elaine may the selfish seamstress is a perky ray of sunshine the first thing in the morning when i open my eyes“
I guess there’s also the very very teeny tiny remote possibility that the “p” is the start of a phrase beginning with the words “piece of.” But that is just oh so unlikely. So, readers, I open it up to you for an afternoon game. Fill in the blanks and be creative!





31 comments
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July 7, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Susan - KnittersDelight
Elaine may the selfish seamstress is a ….phenomenon.
At least it didn’t start with a b….LOL
July 7, 2010 at 3:37 pm
selfishseamstress
if it had been a “b”, i would have just assumed that was the whole phrase! :D
BTW, I *heart* Knitter’s Delight :)
July 7, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Tasia
Hahaha I love it, looking at your search terms is so fun. My favourite of mine is “buy black fabric less than a dollar.” How on earth does that lead to me??
Funniest on my list: “man pear shaped”
Or this one: “sewaholic.net imperfection” Are people hoping I screw up?
The “P” may lead into:
elaine may the selfish seamstress is a perfectionist? person whose fabric stash I’d like to raid? Oooh I know.. POET! For the haikus, you know..
July 7, 2010 at 3:48 pm
selfishseamstress
Ooh, I will buy some of your cheap black fabric, please! Only if it has no “imperfections” though :D
And I know this may come as a shock to you given the artistry and refinement of my poetry, but would you believe that I wasn’t even an English major??
July 7, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Tasia
I love your haikus – you must just be a natural poet then, if you have no formal poetry training!
July 7, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Susan - KnittersDelight
Oooooh – Tasia might be onto something P for poet. You do rock the Haikus after all!
July 7, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Mary in FL
… a pep talk waiting to happen. Don’t blame me – blame my trip to the dentist today …
July 7, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Sophie
Call me an idiot, but how do you find how people got to your blog?
July 9, 2010 at 8:57 am
selfishseamstress
Hi Sophie- WordPress provides a “Stats” page under “My Account” that shows a few sets of basic stats such as search phrases and number of hits to each post. I don’t know how it works on Blogspot- maybe someone else who uses it could advise?
July 7, 2010 at 6:17 pm
flickettysplits
….a perfectly peppy person – in a parallel universe.
I once did a post about my fat black cat, whose name is Fatpuss, and the number of searches I get based on “fat black puss” is hilarious! What’s even funnier though is imagining their faces when they lob onto a crafty blog full of sewing rather than porn!!
July 7, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Judy
…pint-sized, elfin featured picture of grace and elegance. Alternatively, …..Peter (MPB) fan. (Boy has he been taking his life in his hands lately!)
July 7, 2010 at 7:19 pm
beangirl
“perfect bee-atch”?
“piece of work”?
“poisonous scourge on the world at large”?
“potentially fatal disease caused by consuming too much internet and can only be cured by shopping online for fabric. And eating chocolate”?
Wow, this is fun! I could do this all day. But I have some fabric shopping and chocolate eating to do.
(seriously, that is a really weird search phrase… I get some doozies on mine, but that one is sort of baffling.)
July 7, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Kathi
I must be on the wrong blog — did you actually start by writing something NICE about another blog???
July 7, 2010 at 10:39 pm
Priscilla
I’m gonna cast my vote for “…is a pee.”
Simple…hurtful…childish, so it’s got that hipster appeal. Yes, “pee” is an all around winner.
July 8, 2010 at 1:15 am
rosesred
elaine may the selfish seamstress is a professor in the Science of Selfish sewing?
July 8, 2010 at 3:25 am
lin3arossa
picky eater? petite sewer? p*rn star? are some of the words that spontaneously come to my mind.
My keywords are nothing surprising but my referrer sites sometimes are! For example, how did somehow land on my site from here: ?
July 8, 2010 at 5:41 am
trudy callan
Elaine the Selfish Seamstress is pretty awesome – and I’ll bet a Peter fan in secret. Hope Peter isn’t reading this.
Trudy
http://www.sewingwithtrudy.blogspot.com
July 8, 2010 at 8:59 am
Drsue
. . . . perpetrator?
July 8, 2010 at 10:55 am
The Slapdash Sewist
My favorite search was “smallest waist and largest booty.” It led to a post about my paper tape dummy. Ha.
July 8, 2010 at 10:58 am
Nikole
…peter bashing; vintage, dan and sasa loving selfish bee-atch!
July 8, 2010 at 11:08 am
Chrisrx
…paragon of selfish sewing satire.
July 8, 2010 at 12:30 pm
emily
poopoohead? lol. surely not!
July 8, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Henriette
…pretty nice person…
July 8, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Fourth Daughter
haha (as usual)… trying to think of something starting with ‘p’ that means hilarious?? …
‘is a pick-me-up when I need a break from my boring day’??
(sorry, am not as hilarious as you)
Meanwhile I’m also interested in which search thing you’re using to spy on us, I just installed sitemeter http://www.sitemeter.com/ but haven’t actually used it properly yet so don’t know if I’ll be able to tell how people find me, although cats and op shopping and general tight-arsedness are mentioned rather frequently so I’d imagine they’d be in the top five when I finally work out how to generate one of these lists!
July 9, 2010 at 2:28 am
Carolyn
Hi, sorry to ask a dumb question, but I am kind of techno-ignorant, how do you get those stats?
Thanks for the unending inspiration
July 9, 2010 at 8:56 am
selfishseamstress
Hi Carolyn! I’m using WordPress for my blog, and I just go to “My Account” from which there is a “Stats” page that shows a few sets of basic stats, such as how many hits your posts are getting and what people are searching on. It looks like you’re using Blogspot though, and I’m not familiar with the stats options for it. Maybe someone else who uses Blogspot can pipe up?
July 10, 2010 at 7:55 am
Carolyn
Thankyou!
July 9, 2010 at 8:36 am
cupcaker
elaine may the selfish seamstress is a pretty petite lady, which makes me angry because I can’t grade patterns and I’m a big ‘un. :)
July 9, 2010 at 10:55 am
rena
. . .perfectly pleasant and pixie-ish person . . .
July 9, 2010 at 2:49 pm
KTseams
just like Mary Poppins… “practically perfect in every way”
May 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Meagan
Three years later, and I’m reading through your blog archive as if it’s a novel I can’t put down! I have to weigh in here, even if you never see it: P is clearly for Professor… not incredibly creative, but I think I might actually be right :-)