Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning after a possible sewing failure last night (more on that later) and now I’m feeling the need to take it out on someone. A new nemesis.

Enter Yoshimi, a.k.a. “Flying Squirrel Nemesis,” a.k.a. “Elegant Nemesis.” Some of you may know Yoshimi from her blog, and may be saying to yourself right now, “How can Yoshimi be your nemesis?  She seems so sweet!” The operative word here is “seems.”  The Selfish Seamstress also thought Yoshimi was sweet, until Yoshimi launched a full scale attack on the Selfish Seamstress from all angles.  Look at some of the unprovoked and insulting comments Yoshimi has made about the Selfish Seamstress:

On BurdaStyle:

“Very elegant, you look beautiful in it.”

On Pattern Review:

“Gorgeous jacket. It’s very nice on you.”

And Yoshimi has even left abusive comments on the Selfish Seamstress’s very own blog, like this:

“Every one of your posts makes me smile.”

Obviously, Yoshimi is looking for a fight. She is out to terrorize, and the Selfish Seamstress cannot condone cyber-bullying unless she is the one doing the bullying. Therefore Yoshimi has been upgraded to Selfish Seamstress Nemesis status, and it’s time to give her a taste of her own medicine.

1) First off, Yoshimi is not to be trusted.  For example, she states on her blog that she has trouble making pants that fit.  Well if that’s true, how do you explain THESE?

and THESE??

Seriously, are there any of you out there who wouldn’t consider giving away half of your stash if it meant you could get a fit like that on your pants?

2) Yoshimi’s sense of style is so impeccable it’s like she’s TRYING to breed resentment. Can she go Jackie Kennedy elegant?  Yes.  Can she wear what the 19-year olds who work at Armani Exchange wear and look great in it?  Yes. Can she make clothes in all of these styles such that the look like they came straight from a boutique and not from a home sewing machine? ARGH, YES. 

 

Extra bonus nemesis points: the ability to photograph her outfits in a way that puts the J.Crew and Banana Republic catalogues to shame. Seriously, did anyone else forget that they were looking at home-sewn garments while going through these photos and start looking for the “Add to my Cart” button?  No “sorry-this-looks-like-crap-I-took-this-at-night-with-flash-while-standing-in-my-messy-sewing-room” photos from this nemesis!

3) Yoshimi commits the greatest sin of all in the Selfish Seamstress’s book: sewing for others. Now, I know that a lot of people sew for others. But Yoshimi sews for others so beautifully that it almost (almost!) makes the Selfish Seamstress wish she could sew for others. Since when has the Selfish Seamstress ever envied someone’s ability to do something for others?? Yoshimi puts terrible, terrible thoughts into my head! But can you blame me? Have a look at these two shirts she made for her husband:

I can’t even stand to look at these masterpieces of workmanship, they tear me up so inside.

4) Finally, the thing that will push you over the edge with rage directed at Yoshimi: her shoe wardrobe. Oh yes, scroll back up and look through those pictures. As if it weren’t enough that she’s made herself a closet full of beautiful, graceful clothing, this nemesis has also has amassed a shoe collection clearly intended to breed spite and jealousy. Sure, her blog is about sewing, but she sneaks those shoes in there just to provoke your ire.

Well done, Yoshimi.  You are a formidable nemesis.  But if I were you, I would sleep with one eye open. Everyone else- march on over to Yoshimi the Flying Squirrel for more fodder for discord and more reasons to envy! Go forth and avenge!

[Not angry enough yet?  Check here for more nemeses!]